30 things you can do while naked
by Carly86
Summary: The Doctor is trying to adjust to human life and finds out that even completely normal things are much more interesting if you do them without clothes.
1. Breakfast

Four weeks after Bad Wolf Bay, Rose found her Doctor in the kitchen. Starkers.

"Ah, good morning Rose! Fancy a cuppa?"

She gaped.

"What?"

"Cuppa. Good old British tea, you know. I drank a lot of tea in my 900 years of Time and Space but nothing can beat a cuppa of English Earl Grey. Mind you, the spiritual drink of Nakra 5 came pretty close, but I could do without the illusions, thank you very much. Especially while trying to communicate with a Blob like... Ehm, what are you staring at?"

"What?"

"Seriously Rose, what is wrong with you today? Did you eat something strange?"

"Wha- oh, to hell with that! You are naked! In our kitchen. Making a sandwich and tea. NAKED!"

"Oooh, that's why you are acting so strange?" Rose nodded. "I'm just trying to adjust to your little ape customs."

"What?"

"Well, I found this article in one of your magazines, '30 things you can do while naked', and thought I try it out. I have to act all human like now, after all. Experience all sorts of things."

The Doctor turned around to finish his sandwich, but stilled when he heard the rustling of cloths.

"I see. You also want to participate. That's great, you can explain some of these things to me. I don't get what's so great about running naked on a football field or driving naked in your car. It may be convenient on a very HOT day... When you are sweating all over your body but rather uncomfortable when you have leather seats." He heard a strange noise.

"Rose, did you just growl? Ah...AAAH! I don't think that was on the list. Oh... OOOH! Now, THAT definitely wasn't on it... Ehm, what are you doing down there? Aaah...Rose? ROOOOOSE!!"


	2. Cleaning Day

* * *

Okay, despite earlier plans, a second chapter. I don't know if I can really come up with 30 things but we will see...

If you have a good idea, don't be shy to mention it if you don't mind me using it. I will credit them, of course, if I'm using them. Until then, I still have stuff for two more chapters... So, if you still want me to continue after this first attempt at smut... (yeah, real smutty smut this time)

* * *

The door shut with a bang. The Doctor hung his coat on the hook, spread his arms out and with a manic grin on his face, he inhaled the scent of his home. _His home. _He never thought he would have one someday... at least not one with carpets and windows. He still missed the TARDIS sometimes but, thanks to his company, these moments became more and more infrequent these days.

His grin widened, if that was even possible. There was something he wanted to say all day. One of those very human things, he couldn't even dream of saying when he still was a Time Lord.

"Honey! I'm hooooome!" He screamed on the top of his lungs and smiled proudly when he heard a thump. His magnificent humanity must have overpowered his girlfriend (he loved that word!) that much that she wasn't even able to stay on her feet.

Walking into the direction of the noise, he arrived in the kitchen and gaped at the picture that lay before him. The upper half of Rose's body was hidden in one of the cupboards while her lovely bum pointed into his direction and wiggled every time she moved... and she was naked. Completely naked as far as the Doctor could see (and he could see everything quite clearly). No underwear, no nothing. Just her birthday suit and a cleaning rag, she used to clean the cupboard with.

The Doctor gulped. "Um... honey, I'm home?"

"Shut up! I bang my head because of you." Oh, probably not his magnificent humanity then...

"R-Rose.. you are naked... in our kitchen..."

Rose crawled out of the cupboard, stood up and grinned. "Yep, I am. Point 15 on the list is 'naked cleaning'. Thought I try it out since I have to clean anyway." She followed his eyes. "Doctor, my eyes aren't down there."

"Sorry," he said sheepishly, "you can be quite distracting at times..."

"Oh, really now?"

Rose walked to the fridge and took a cold coke out of it. She stretched and grinned when the Doctor's eyes followed the moving of her breasts. Then she pressed the can on her forehead and ran it down across the skin of her face until it lay on the base of her neck.

She moaned and the Doctor followed suit. "Hot these days, isn't it?" She smiled at the appearing bulge in his pants. "Someone is happy to see me," she said in a singsong-voice and let the can glide across the valley between her breasts.

The Doctor's eyes darkened and he moved, very slowly, to her like a predator stalking his prey. "Always," he said with a growl and put his hands on her hips. Rose let the can drop and shuddered when he moved his hand up and down her spine. The Doctor grinned and licked the cold spot on her neck, where the can was before. She moaned as the hot tongue met her skin and felt him grin into her neck.

Damn, she wanted to be the seductress this time... but at the same time as this thought occurred, she decided not to care since the Doctor just found _this_ spot behind her ear.

She moaned again and began to work on the buttons of his jacket. He grabbed her hands and at her questioning look, he grinned, put his hands on her hips again and lifted her up on the kitchen table.

He gently spread her thighs with his hands and Rose opened them without hesitation.

The Doctor moved his head to her centre and inhaled her scent. Just from this he already knew how ready she was. Ignoring his already painful erection, he trailed his tongue over the little knob of nerves. Rose arched her back and groaned when the Doctor removed his tongue again. Her frustration fast turned to pleasure again when he inserted first one, then two fingers into her.

Using his tongue to taste her again, the Doctor was, not for the first time, thankful that he kept his Time Lord senses when he became human. He was able to smell every little reaction of her body to his advances and acted accordingly. He grinned inwardly. Time Lords may be the best lay in all of the universes but half Time Lord half human wasn't bad either.

"Dooooctor..." Oh, she sure loved that spot.

Rose grabbed his hair and nuzzled it every time, he reached a very sensitive place.

He suddenly noticed a change in his scent. She was close. Very close. The Doctor removed his fingers (Rose moaned at the loss) and looked up at her.

Rose grinned and opened his fly to free his hard erection. He hissed when she moved her hands up and down his shaft.

"Rose... stop. Can't-" The Doctor moaned when she trailed her thumb along the head. Rose continued her pace from before and he soon lost all of his self control. He grabbed her bum and lifted her up. She encircled his waist with her legs and he slid into her in one quick thrust. They moaned and the Doctor turned around to press her back against the fridge. They moved at an erratic pace, both striving for release.

Rose began to see stars in front of her eyes and came with an intensity that shook her whole body to the core. The Doctor groaned when her walls pulsated around him and came after a few more thrusts. His hot seed poured into her and panting heavily they both tried to catch their breath. He let her legs glide to the ground and slid out of her in the process.

Both gently kissed afterwards, caressing the until now neglected lips. Rose could taste herself on his lips and smiled a contented smile. "That was..." She began and smiled when she noticed his look.

"...fantastic!" They said in unison, laughed and embraced each other, unable to let go just yet.

After a while the Doctor looked to the window and tensed. Rose noticed his body stiffen and looked up at him.

"What's wrong?" She asked and followed his gaze. Groaning she said, "Oh, no. Not again!"

A figure stood in the window just opposite the street. It lay in direct line to the one in their kitchen and therefore made it easy to look into their apartment. The figure held binoculars to her eyes, but let them drop and hurried away from the window when she realized, she had been caught.

Rose shook her head. "Poor, old Mrs Thunderstone."

"Poor? Oh, I don't know... we must have given her quite a show this time. Can't wait to meet her husband at work..." He grinned mischievously and Rose laughed.

"Don't you dare. He is our supervisor... God knows, he will do, when he realises just how much she loves your bum."

"Oi! I think she has a thing for you too, you know... At least, she didn't use those binoculars when I was naked last time." He grinned and yelped when Rose gave his bum a pinch.

"Enough of this! Hurry up and get naked." She said with that adorable tongue between her teeth. "There is still a lot of cleaning up to do."

The Doctor saluted. "Yes ma'am!" He was more than happy to obey.


	3. Run!

I had so much fun writing this! It always makes me smile when I imagine the Doctor's excitement over the simplest of things :)

There won't be smut in every chapter. I think I would get way too repetitive then...

* * *

Rose leaned back into the couch, watching TV and eating popcorn. She expected to have one of those nice and quiet evenings, which were quite rare at the moment. The Doctor dashed out of their apartment two hours ago with the words "Gotta go. Don't ask. See you later, Darling!", wearing this naughty grin on his face, she loved so much. It also meant that he was up to something extremely stupid, which surely would get him into trouble.

The statistic, Rose compiled, stated that she would have three more hours until the Doctor needed saving. More than enough time for her chick flick and a hot bath, yay!

The phone rang and Rose groaned. So much for statistics...

Grumpily she picked it up. "Rose Tyler speaking. Whoever you are, if it's about my better half: please don't kill or torture him for the next few hours and keep him busy. It has been ages since I last saw 'sleepless in Seattle' and-"

"Um, Rose? This is Pete..."

Rose cursed under her breath. "Sorry, Dad! I thought you were... uh, someone else."

"Apparently." He coughed. "But this actually _is_ about the Doctor."

She sighed. "What did he do this time? He didn't try to free the penguins from the zoo again, did he? I told him that Torchwood checked them three times over... Nothing alien at all about them."

"Yes, I know. And no, he didn't. Though the tabloids sure love what he did this time... and I don't know if I should laugh or cry."

"Okay, now you are scaring me... What did I miss?"

"Change the channel to BBC News and you will see."

Rose obeyed and needed a few seconds to understand what she saw. "Oh. My. God."

The screen showed a football field. Numerous people ran around on it, trying to catch someone who had undeniable a lot of practise in running away. Apparently, the Doctor decided to do number 13 of the list today...

The picture changed back to the news reporter. "The streaker, who flashed the audience in the Wembley Stadium approximately an hour ago, is no other than John Smith, fiancé of Vitex heiress Rose Tyler and self-proclaimed troublemaker of London. This was, by far, not the only strange adventure of Mr Smith. No one will ever be able to forget the attempted kidnapping of London's penguins, his try to convince our president to paint every telephone box blue or his doomed to failure attempted banana theft." The screen showed a picture of the Doctor in the left corner. He wore a normal suit of his, pockets and trouser waistband crammed with bananas.

"John Smith has been arrested for indecent behaviour and is currently in the police headquarters for questioning. And now the weather..."

Rose turned the TV off and stared into space. "Rose? Are you still there?" Oh, she totally forgot about the parallel version of her father.

"Yeah, sorry. You were saying?"

"I'm trying to get rid of those annoying tabloid reporters. Could you go and fetch the Doctor? I already spoke to the police superintendent. You should be able to get him out for a small bail."

Rose snorted. A 'small bail' for Pete was a small fortune for her. "Can't we let him spend a few hours in prison? My film..."

"Rose, you know him even better than I do. What would he do if a reporter manages to reach him and asks _why _he thought running around naked in front of thousands of people would be a good idea?"

She sighed. He would tell the utterly truth, which was far worse than the most obvious explanation: he was plain and simple bonkers. "Alright, already. I'm on my way."

* * *

Half an hour later, she reached the police building. Rose asked for the Doctor and noticing the pitying and curious looks, the police officers were giving her, she was led into a tiny room. The Doctor's blue suit hang over a chair. Considering the huge pile of 'trash' ('treasures', the Doctor would call them), the two frustrated looking officers had the task to empty the pockets. One of them arched an eyebrow when he pulled a long baseball bat out of the tiny pocket of the Doctor's jacket.

Officer Morgan (the one who led Rose into the room) stared, turned to her and asked, "I assume, you don't have a good explanation either how this is physically even possible, Miss Tyler? Your fiancé always says dimensional something something when we ask him."

Rose fought the urge to slap her forehead. She would have to call Torchwood later. There were a lot of people who had to be retconned... "Nope, a little strange that. Can I please get my future husband now? There is a film I..." She paused for a while. "Wait a sec, how did you even get his clothes? I thought he was naked..."

"Not from the start. He stripped while he ran. Quite a sight that was." Morgan grinned. "He nearly fell over his trousers."

Rose groaned. "Get John, now. Pleeeease...film."

The officer laughed and spoke into his walkie-talkie. "Get the loony, Jackson."

"Oi, he isn't a loony!"

Morgan shook his head in disbelief. "If you had said that before the banana thing, I may have believed you..."

A few minutes later, the Doctor entered with a very annoyed looking policeman in tow. When he saw her, he got this special grin on his face, that always reminded her of a happy puppy wiggling its tail. She smiled back and wondered, not for the first time, why she was unable to stay angry with him.

The Doctor walked over to her, an obvious bounce in his step. "Rose! Rose! They said I flashed them! Without a camera! Isn't that great?!" He brimmed over with enthusiasm for this whole (in his opinion) very human situation and looked so adorable in his orange overall that she had to fight the urge to grab and snog him senseless right there and then.

She gathered her last remaining self-restraint, settled for a tight hug and an "Awww! That's why I love you so much!"

Rose swore she could see one of the officers mouthing the word 'nutters' after they gathered the Doctor's things... and with that they were on their way out.

On the way to their car, Rose came to the conclusion, it was time for a serious talk about humanity. "Doctor... you know, this whole list... it's all fun and all but it's not an instruction to being human. In fact, I think nearly no one did everything on the list. Especially not the whole 'being-naked-in-front-of-thousands-of-people-thing'. That's something only very few would do."

The Doctor laughed and took her hand in his. "I know. Believe me, I do. But do you know what?" His grin widened and she saw his eyes twinkle with excitement. "I'm one of them! Isn't that absolutely fantastic?"

And this little, very familiar word was her downfall. Her self-restrained crumbled and she pushed the Doctor against the nearest wall, pressing her lips to his. The Doctor's arms automatically encircled her waist and like so many times before, his tongue graced her lips, begging for entrance. Her lips parted and their tongues began a silent battle, interrupted only by occasional moans of both of them. Their hands wandered under their clothes, reaching for every last bit of skin they could reach.

"Mummy, what are they doing?"

The Doctor and Rose stopped their battle and looked sideways, shocked at the unusual interruption.

A little boy, four or five years old, stood before them and gaped with big, wide eyes. His mother, obviously outraged by this display of indecent behaviour, glared at them and then turned back to her son. "Nothing, honey. They are just playing."

Understanding grow on the boy's face. "Ah, like Daddy. He always plays with Julie's mum when you are working."

The woman turned beet red and grabbed her son and vanished faster than a Slitheen taking a bath in vinegar. After they couldn't see them any more, the Doctor and Rose looked at each other and burst out laughing, holding on to each other for support.

Rose wiped the tears out of her eyes and gave the Doctor her best bedroom eyes. "I would love to _play _some more with you, Doctor." She lay a hand on his chest, over his one heart and smiled when she felt his fast heartbeat. "Let's drive home and do my favourite activity."

The Doctor returned her gaze. "And what, Rose Tyler, may that be?"

Rose's tongue appeared between her teeth. "Well, we are both going to be naked... but I can promise you one thing." She leaned forward to whisper into his ear and the Doctor shuddered at her warm breath on his skin. "It's not on the list."

* * *

After a night of mind blowing sex, Rose awoke with a start, sat upright on their bed and groaned. "My film!"


	4. Bathing

Number 22 on the list... I have 26 now ;)

* * *

"No."

"But Ro-ooose! It's gonna be fun!"

"I told you, I'm not doing something... something like that. It's disgusting!"

"Come ooo-oon! It's on the list... You said, you wanted to help me."

"Yeah, but... I didn't think something like _that _would be on it. I mean, who knows what has been in _there._"

The Doctor began to bounce up and down their bed. "It can't be that bad. And I promise you, you are gonna enjoy it," he said in a husky voice and wiggled his eyebrows at her.

Rose sighed. "We can't do something like that! You have been in this universe for what? Three months? And got already arrested six times!"

"Hey, the last time wasn't even my fault! He said 'Bite me!', how should I know, he didn't really mean it?"

Rose groaned. Sometimes she felt more like a babysitter than a girlfriend. "Doctor, he was twelve years old and it was his first visit to England... You didn't have to bite him just because he said it!"

The Doctor pouted, all chewing lips and deer eyes. "I wanted to be polite!"

Rose put her book down (she had been on the same line for 15 minutes now) and gave him a stern look. "Anyway, I'm not doing it."

"Please?"

Oh, oh no! He had _that _look now... the innocent sweet-as-sugar-love-me-look. But she won't give in! Not this time. No. Not. Certainly not.

_Aww, his lips begin to shiver!_ Rose bit her own lip. _Don't give in, don't give in, don't give in..._ "Alright." _Dammit! _

* * *

Fifteen minutes later, they arrived in the park. Rose looked nervously around. The whole place was dark save for the large fountain in the middle. It was illuminated by four lanterns, the water glistening in the sparse light.

"Are you sure, you wanna do this?" Rose looked uncertain at her bouncy partner.

He beamed at her and stripped out of his clothes. Rose sighed. That was her answer.

When he was completely naked, he looked questioning at Rose. "What's wrong? Cold feet?" To emphasize his statement, he began to wiggle his now bare toes.

His wordplay bounced off of her. "I- I still don't know... What if someone sees us?"

The Doctor grinned and pulled her into his arms. "That's the fun part, isn't it? The danger of being caught. Just like old times," he whispered into her ear, sending shivers down her spine in the process.

Rose returned the hug and pulled back after a while to look into his eyes. "Yeah, just like old times." She grinned at him and kissed him deeply, her tongue caressing his own.

Between kisses, the Doctor began to remove her clothes. First coat, then shoes, socks, shirt and jeans. Looking appreciatively at her, he got rid of her underwear and gave her one of his most brilliant smiles.

"My beautiful, beautiful Rose..."

She blushed under his gaze, feeling unusually shy in this open area.

He took her hand in his and tugged her to the fountain. Taking two careful steps, they dipped their toes into the cold water.

The Doctor grinned when Rose's nipples stood to attention. "Cold, are you?" He stared unashamed at her twins, itching to touch them.

Rose, noticing the desire in his eyes, splashed him with some of the fountains falling water. He squealed and Rose laughed at him. "You sound like a six year old girl with braces!"

He pouted again and folded his arms. "Do not. The water _is_ cold, you know?"

She grinned cheekily at him and glanced down. "Yeah, I can see that. Hm, what a shame..."

"Oi! Now, that's just mean. Come here and I'm gonna show you how big it's gonna be." His voice was low and he practically growled now.

He jumped forward and tried to catch her. Diving sidewards, she evaded his attack and splashed him again, squealing in delight when she hit his bum. He screamed and leaped after her, hitting his fiancée once or twice with the ice cold water.

Like little kids, they chased each other around the fountain, screaming and laughing with each hit. After a little while, the Doctor caught her around the waist and pulled her down with him. Out of breath, Rose straddled his waist and grinned when she felt his hard erection pressed into her bum.

"Bigger, huh?" She began to wiggle around on him. He closed his eyes and groaned in response. "Like that?" Her evil, little tongue appeared between her teeth.

Growling, the Doctor shot up, pushed her off of him and onto her back. Rose yelled when her back touched the cold water, but was stopped short by the Doctor's tongue invading her mouth. Hands wandered up and down their bodies, warming every bit of flesh in their wake. They moaned when their hands met the places of their desires, one moving in and out, the other up and down. The Doctor dipped his head and begin to lick and suck on her right nipple, while kneading the other with his free hand. They were sitting now and Rose moved her hand faster up and down his member while he worked on her.

Moaning, Rose came when the Doctor's hand found her clit, biting into his shoulder to muffle her screams. He yelped and she looked apologetically at him.

Kissing her nose, the Doctor pulled her up with him and pushed her against the column of the fountain. He looked deeply into her eyes, placed himself onto her entrance and then-

"Freeze! This is the police."

Completely shocked, they stopped in their tracks and stared sideways, unable to move an inch of their bodies. Before them stood a police car, headlights directed at them.

"Please step out of the fountain. In name of the British Empire, you will be arrested for indecent behaviour and curfew break."

The Doctor groaned in frustration and Rose followed suit. Utterly unsatisfied, they stepped out of the water, trying to cover as much of their naked skin as possible.

The human Time Lord glared at the officers when he noticed the leering looks, they gave his Rose. Feeling the oncoming storm approaching, they turned around and coughing, allowed them to get dressed.

A few minutes later, they sat in the police car. The Doctor, unable to bear the sullen mood, smiled at Rose. "Well, that makes seven for me and three for you," he whispered to her. "You will have to hurry up, if you wanna beat my score." His smile faded when she glared at him. If he was the oncoming storm, Rose Tyler certainly was the oncoming apocalypse.

"Getting arrested is not a game, Doctor!" She groaned. "Dad is so gonna kill me."

"Oh, I don't know." He began to grin like a Cheshire cat. "He told me a few days ago that my antics caused the press to show much more interest in his projects."

Rose, eager to break his unjustified enthusiasm for getting them into this mess in the first, leaned forward to whisper into his ear. "You bathed naked with his 'daughter' in a fountain at night. In a park. Having obviously every intention to screw her there." She lay her head on his shoulder, grinning into his skin. "Do you really think, he will pat your shoulder and say 'Well, done!'? Or my mother?"

The Doctor blanched. He apparently forgot that Pete wasn't only his boss but also his father-in-law... And Jackie... he could already feel a stinging pain on his cheek.

He turned to Rose. "Please, Rose! You have to protect me. They are going to kill me! Please, you-" He rattled on and on, trying to convince her to save his skin.

While hey drove to the police department and the Doctor's approaching doom, Rose grinned and made a mental note.

_Number 22: Bathing in a fountain, check. _


	5. Punishment

Hello, again!

First of all: thanks to GSRgirlforever for her suggestions! I wanted to thank you before but kind of forgot it °°

Sorry about that! I'm not sure how if I'm going to use everyone of them, but one is already in here (well, sort of...). Though, this chapter is mainly an 'introduction' to the next ones, because... drum roll This story actually developed a real plot! :O

Anyway, Number 11 starts here.

Enjoy! (And review! Makes me want to write faster, as you can see :P)

* * *

"What the hell were you thinking?!"

The Doctor and Rose sat in front of Jackie and Pete like two naughty kids, caught with their hands in a cookie jar. Scowling, they endured the tirade of one Jackie Tyler, the Doctor rubbing his swollen and dangerous red cheeks. Jackie obviously had been working out... probably exactly for cases like this.

"How often do you plan to get arrested, Doctor? First the penguin thing, then your redecoration of London's telephone boxes, banana theft, your naked public marathon on a_ football field, _accusing poor Mr Anderson of being a Slitheen... Jesus, the man is like 90 years old and has digestion problems... and you chased him through half of London with a jug of vinegar!"

"He is 87 and anyone could have made the mistake! I thought he wanted to conquer the Earth!" the Doctor cut in, shrinking back when he noticed Jackie's threatening look.

"He is a retired milkman, for God's sake! And don't you dare interrupt me again, there is more on the list!" The Doctor closed his open mouth again. "Biting this poor child..." She shook her head. "Is that a custom for your people? And, of course, your latest achievement: Having sex in a public fountain!!" Her face was now red enough to glow in the dark, the Doctor was sure of that.

"Um...we didn't get to the actual sex part." The human Time Lord shot her a reassuring grin... at least it was meant to be reassuring.

"Don't you dare to give me your 'I got lucky'-grin!" Misinterpretation...great. "I really expected more of you... both of you." She glanced over at Rose who suddenly looked like a six year old girl again. "So, Pete and I have decided to punish you both. Like you know, Pete is going to take the next four days off. We are going to Glasgow with Tony. His first real holiday... and we want you two, to take care of the mansion. No stuff, no gardener. Just the two of you. And God help you, if I find even a little tiny bit of dust, when I come back!"

Depressed, the Doctor and Rose looked down and answered with "Yes, ma'am." while Pete sat in the back and hoped to be left out of this. Before Jackie attacked the Doctor, he never had a clue about the strength of his wife.

* * *

Two hours later, the Doctor and Rose had put their stuff into the mansion and stood at the door to say good-bye to Jackie, Pete and Tony.

Tony hugged his sister tightly. He was very close to Rose and the Doctor smiled at the picture they made. Suddenly, Tony reached out to the Doctor, asking silently for a hug from his brother-in-law. The Doctor laughed and took him into his arms, whispering into his ear to take good care of his parents. The little boy giggled and ran to his mother, when the Doctor put him down.

"Alright, all yours now. Don't disappoint her... I'm going to feel her wrath too, you know.," Pete said nervously.

"Pete, get your ass into the damn car. We are going to miss our Zeppelin!" Jackie screamed impatiently out of the car. Her husband jumped and did as he was told.

They drove off and the Doctor laughed at them. "He is totally henpecked!"

"Doctor?"

He smiled at her. "Yes, Rose?"

"Shut up."

He swallowed. "Yes, Rose."

* * *

Meanwhile, in Jackie and Pete's car...

"Is this really going to work?"

Jackie sighed deeply. "They are going at it like rabbits... To be honest, I'm surprised it didn't happen already!"

"But, do you really think the mansion is going to speed things up? Maybe we should have left it to them..."

"Pete, I'm not getting any younger... and the mansion has a dozen of bedrooms... believe me, he is going to have her pregnant in no time!"

"Whatever you say, Jacks... whatever you say."

* * *

The mansion again...

Rose sat in the living room, watching TV. The Doctor vanished ten minutes ago, but she didn't think much of it. It was likely that he did his house-discovering-routine: picking random things up, turning them around in his hands, putting his glasses on, inspecting them more closely, putting them back into their respective places when he was sure, it wasn't really interesting or fun and last but not least: breaking about half of the objects in one of the previous steps.

She heard a breaking sound, followed by a curse.

Rose grinned. She knew him too well.

After a while of relaxing in front of the telly , she got a foreshadowing feeling. They got far too easy off the hook... the mansion is cleaned every day by the staff and when she looked around, she could see that they obviously did it even today. How dusty could it become in four days? Not exactly the kind of punishment one would expect for getting arrested because of 'indecent behaviour'. Her mother was up to something... This whole thing smelled... or was it just the furniture polish, the Doctor decided to try out?

She jumped up. "Doctor, stop it! You can't drink that!"

* * *

The Doctor sat sulkily on the couch. Rose ordered him to stay by her side after that little incident before... The furniture polish smelled exactly like a Vanasilian cocktail... how should he know, that it wasn't the same and even toxic for humans? When he was a full Time Lord, he could eat and drink nearly everything without any problems, but this human body seemed to be extremely sensitive to everything... He grinned. Like Rose's hand on his thigh right now...

Her warm, little hand moved up and down, up and down on his trouser clad leg. He looked at her face. She seemed to be totally engrossed in her favourite series, 'Professor Who', and didn't even notice the movement of her clever fingers.

The Doctor hissed when her hand reached higher and higher and felt himself getting hard. Not good... he should tell her what she was doing before she notices his hard-on and accused him for having naughty thoughts about this 'Professor's' blond assistant.

"Um, Rose?"

"Hm?"

"Y-your hand." Rassilon! She just nearly reached his member.

Her eyes were still fixed on the screen. "What about it?"

"I-It's...Oh, God!" He jumped up and hurried out of the room.

Rose grinned to herself. _Gotcha! _

* * *

The Doctor cleaned himself up and leaned against the sink. It was unbelievable what this human girl could do to him. He opened the door of the bathroom to find a grinning Rose standing in front of him.

"I wanted to give you a hand but it seems like you took care of yourself quite nicely," she said cheekily.

Comprehension dawned on the Doctor's face. "You little minx!"

He began to chase her through the mansion, their squeals and laughter echoing through the halls. The Doctor caught her around the waist after a few minutes, lifted her up and threw her over his shoulder.

Rose screamed and began to punch his back, while the laughing Doctor ran with her to the swimming pool.

"Oh, oh no! Don't you dare thr-"

She was unable to finish her sentence since the Doctor threw her into the pool and her mouth began to fill with water. Coughing, she swam to the ladder and stepped out of the pool.

Completely soaked, she stared angrily at him and he knew at once that he went too far. "That's it, Mister! No sex for you for the next four days! And we _will_ continue this list!"

The Doctor stared in disbelief at her. "Y-You can't be serious! _Four days! _That's impossible!"

Rose smirked. "You will have to make good use of those hands of yours, Doctor!" Rose stripped out of her wet clothes and went back into the mansion to watch TV in the nude.

The Doctor gaped after her. "W-What?!"

* * *

A few miles away, Jackie got the feeling that something went terribly wrong with her plan.


	6. Exercise, or Four days?

The Doctor stared at her. Watching her soap-operas, Rose sat on the couch, giving no indication whatsoever that he was even in the room. His eyes wandered over her naked body, her still wet hair slightly dripping over her pale, creamy skin. She couldn't be serious... _four days_?

The Doctor would die before they ended... he was absolutely sure about that.

"Um, Rose?"

"Hm?"

"You were-" He swallowed. "You were joking before, right?"

"Nope." She took a strawberry out of a bowl next to her (where the hell did they came from?!) and began to sensually suck on it. The Doctor closed his eyes, trying to concentrate on the matter at hand.

"B-but... four days?! Ever since Bad Wolf Bay, we can barely last two hours without touching each other... let alone _days_...That's the reason why we are working together, remember?"

Rose giggled... never a good sign, that. "Oh, I'm going to touch you alright, Doctor... But I won't sleep with you or help you out in any other way."

_That cheeky, little... _She knew he wouldn't be able to last that long! His libido seemed to want to catch up with the release, he wasn't able to get (or let himself get) in his full Time Lord body... And although Rose only had one body for all of her life, it seemed to be the same with her... But... that also meant... wait a minute...

"Ha! You will never last that long. I bet you are going to beg me to fuck you within the next two days!" The Doctor grinned smugly at her, ever so sure of himself.

Rose raised an eyebrow, looking rather amused. "Oh, I can assure you, Doctor... you are going to do the begging." She sucked on an exceptional big fruit, completely engrossed in her task.

He followed her every movement and when she licked her fingers clean of strawberry juice, he was for the first time glad to still wear his pants around her.

Two hours... two hours since Rose's declaration to stay abstinent until her parents came back... and the Doctor already knew, he was fighting a lost battle. He also got rid of his clothes a while back, knowing that it was the only way for him to seduce her to capitulate. What he didn't took into account, was that Rose apparently was a way better seductress than he knew. She didn't need much persuading before, after all...

But now she was driving him insane with her wiggling on the couch, hands skimming supposedly accidentally over his skin, and moaning every time the chocolate ice cream melted on her sensual tongue... The Doctor did a double take. Where did the ice cream come from? She didn't go into the kitchen, did she?

After another moan, that went right to his groin, he couldn't take it any more. He jumped up and with three long strides, went to the door.

"Where are you going?" Rose grinned knowingly at him. She obviously noticed the effect, she had on him.

Rummaging through his brain with an amazing speed, pure humans would never be able to achieve, he searched for a reasonable explanation and grinned when an imaginary bulb lit up in his head.

"I'm going to exercise a little... Pete told me about the gym, he has in the cellar." He smiled seductively at her. "And it's number 20 on our fabulous little list, by the way." The Doctor winked and left the living room.

Rose stared at the place where he stood just mere seconds ago. An image of the Doctor glistening with sweat while he trained his lean, naked body burned inside her mind.

When Rose noticed, she was drooling upon the thought, she only had two words in mind: _Four days?!_

* * *

The Doctor couldn't stop grinning while he made his way to the gym. He knew Rose better than himself (this and his other self) and could guess what she was thinking right now. Now he only had to get her into the cellar and watch him train... she would be butter in his hands after that.

He arrived at the gym and examined the high-class equipment. Now he knew where Jackie got those extra muscles from... he would have to be a lot more careful around her, since he had no regenerations in this body and valued his life too much to risk it. No need to annoy the mother-in-law more than necessary...

The Doctor made his way to one of the weight-training machines and began to train, without even giving a glance to the instructions on the machine... Why should a magnificent human Time Lord like him even waste time with lowly things like reading instructions, anyway?

* * *

It didn't take long for Rose to get utterly bored. The fantasies of having her wicked way with the sweaty Doctor on the floor of the gym took overhand and made it difficult to concentrate on the program... Not that she had a reason to watch this crap anyway, without her boyfriend to tease. Grumbling, she made her way to follow him. If she had to torture herself the next few days to make a point, she could at least get some eye candy out of it.

When she arrived in the cellar, she was greeted by a picture that could as well be one of her more vivid dreams: the Doctor sat in one of the machines, training the firm muscles in his arms. He was sweating heavily, which indicated that he already trained for a while. The sweat ran down his lean, naked body and Rose couldn't stop her eyes from following one of the drops. It ran from his neck over the his hard chest and fine abs and down to his...

_Oh, God! _Rose bit her lip nearly hard enough to drew blood.

She yanked her head away from _that_ place and forced herself to look at his face. Frowning she tried to understand what she saw... The Doctor didn't have his normal 'I-have-to-concentrate-on-my-task'-look, it seemed more like he felt very uncomfortable... more like he was... in pain?

Rose began to feel herself slightly panicking. "Doctor, what's wrong?"

"Oh, Rose! Lovely room, this, isn't it?" he said through clenched teeth and gave her an agonizing look, which was originally intended to be charming but failed miserably.

"Stop it! I can see that you are hurting. How long have you been doing this?"

"Just a few minutes, Rose. Nothing to be-" He hissed when he felt a stinging pain pulling through his muscles. "-worried about. I'm right as rain."

Rose shook her head in disbelief. "You have to pause between the sets! Otherwise you could strain a-"

The Doctor suddenly cried out, stopped his training and held his aching arm.

"-muscle." She was by his side in an instance, inspecting his sore biceps. "I think you were lucky. It's not that bad." Rose began to laugh when she looked at his pouting face. He looked like a little boy who hurt his knee in an skateboard accident. Absolutely adorable.

She ruffled his hair and said, "Aww, don't worry, honey. A little bit of ice and a massage and your arm is as good as new!"

The Doctor beamed at her when he heard the word 'massage' and Rose had to resist the urge to pinch his cheek. She told him to go up and take a cold shower (more to calm his little friend than his muscles... he was obviously very, _very_ happy about the following treatment) while she went to the kitchen to get some ice.

She found him in her old bedroom afterwards (strange that, he needed normally longer than her in the shower since he isn't used to humans' perspiration yet), lying on the big king-sized bed, evidently thrilled when he noticed her standing in the doorway.

The Doctor grinned and wriggled his toes. "Massage now?" he asked with great anticipation.

Rose furrowed her brow and held up the ice. "Ice first, massage later. Although... your arm seems to be better already..."

He suddenly cried out, held his arm and acted like he would die from a deadly wound. He gestured widely with his arms and sighed dramatically. "It hurts! Oooow! Please, my darling Rose! You have to free me from this raging pain. This monster pulsing through my beaten body, striving to drain every last bit of my manly strength. Save me from a painful death! Use your lovely hands to please my body, to drive away the madness building in my very core. Let your clever little fingers wander over my hot skin. Use them to distract me from this agony and bring my body to ecstasy! Caress my rod of life, my hard pulsing cock, the magnificent piece of flesh, the-" His gaze wandered over to her and his mouth opened in disbelief. "Oi! Are you even listening?!"

Rose looked up from inspecting her nails. "Huh? Naaah... not since I realised you were talking about your little screwdriver there." She pointed to his cock and ignored his scandalized cries over the word 'little'. "And what brought you even to the idea I could treat you like... like _that_?"

Now the Doctor really looked shocked. "You said massage!"

"Yeah, but massaging your _arm... _didn't see you doing anything to strain _that_ muscle..." she said, her tongue pointing out between her teeth.

"B-but... you... you said massage... we have always... every time when... _You said massage_!"

Now, Rose was obviously very amused about his disappointing. "Four days, Doctor. Remember?"

"_Four days?_" he asked outraged.

She nodded and put ice on his arm, the smug grin still planted on her face. "Four days."

The Doctor groaned while he let her treat his arm, trying hard not to think about where he would love to have her fingers instead...

* * *

That was number 20 on the list... Please review, I really need your opinions :)


	7. Driving

After Rose took care of the Doctor (not in the way he wished she would), the rest of their first day of abstinence stayed rather uneventful. The Doctor sulked ("I'm _not_ sulking, Rose! I never sulk. Now wipe that grin off your face.") and Rose amused herself with teasing him further, until he walked away and continued with inspecting the mansion.

An indigestion and a lot of toilet paper later, the Doctor lay in Rose's bed and moaned due to stomach ache. Rose sat next to him and wiped his damp face with a cloth.

"I told you not to stuff something weird into your mouth..."

"I know... but it wasn't really identifiable in that box... I didn't know that-"

Rose groaned exaggeratively and pinched his arm, ignoring the pitiful 'Ow!', he responded with. "That's the point, Doctor! You can't just put something in your mouth when you aren't sure what it is!" Thinking about a way to let that message finally sink in, she drummed with her fingers on the little bedside table. She grinned when she got something and changed her expression to the you-have-been-a-bad-boy-look, Rose always gave the Doctor when he did something wrong.

"What you did, Doctor, was absolutely _not_ human... it was alien!"

Gasping, he responded exactly like she expected. He clenched a hand over his single heart and stared wide eyed at her. Rose still remembered when they stood on that fateful beach. He wasn't exactly thrilled at the thought of living in a human body but slowly he realized the advantages and began to love his new life. Now, he tried to experience every single human thing and hated it when someone reminded him that he was still half-alien. The Doctor loved his heritage of course and was proud of having his amazing Time Lord brain... it was just the word 'alien' that bothered him.

It reminded him that he didn't belong completely to the people around him and that this planet wasn't his real home.

Rose felt bad of course, that she used this fact against him, but she was scared, he would someday be poisoned by one of his oral expeditions.

"N-not human? Alien? B-but Rose... I'm human now! See?" He took her hand and placed it over his heart, where his own hand was before.

Rose softened when she looked into his horrified and crushed looking face. "I know, Theta, I know." She used his nickname only when she wanted to sooth him. "But you keep forgetting that fact and I... I'm scared for you. You only have this one life after all and I don't want to lose you."

She was crying now and the Doctor wiped her tears away with his thumb. Rose climbed into the bed and snuggled into his embrace. They sighed, content to finally feel the other's hot skin against their own again.

The Doctor noticed that Rose was still silently crying and it broke his heart. "Rose, please! Stop crying. I can't bear to see you like this." When she was unable to stop her tears, the Doctor thought for a moment. "Please! I promise you that I won't eat anything your mother cooked ever again... Especially not her Shepherd's pie!" His stomach complained and he grimaced as he thought about the cause for his discomfort.

Rose laughed heartedly and the Doctor smiled. He loved that laugh.

* * *

He didn't get much sleep that night, since Rose always wriggled in her sleep and some parts of his sexually frustrated body woke rather up than fell asleep. In fact, he had to go to the bathroom two times... and not to use the toilet.

When he finally got some of his much needed sleep, he dreamed of everything he loved: bananas, jelly babies and edible ball bearings, all on top of his beautiful, sweet and completely naked Rose.

Needless to say: he took his third detour to the bathroom after he woke up. Strange, that all of his sex dreams with Rose contained bananas... maybe he should take Jackie's advice and go to this doctor, she mentioned...

He laughed out loud at the thought and went back to bed. As if anything could be wrong with his psyche when he had such an astonishing brain!

This time he dreamed of Judoon in tutus.

* * *

Rose awoke to the Doctor's screams ("No! I'm begging you! No pirouette!") and shook her head. He had to be dreaming about those big rhino aliens in pink dresses again. Well, that was at least better than the nightmare where Davros told him that he is his father and his mother was a pink Dalek with a ribbon in its ha- ehm... around its eyestalk. He always awoke sweating and screaming bloody murder after it.

The only one who loved these dreams was Mrs Thunderstone. She always awoke at the right time to watch him running around naked and Rose had the feeling that they had to move soon, since the old 'lady' began to pinch their butts in the supermarket.

Their worst experience with her was, when Jackie went with them to buy groceries and observed the assault. She accused them afterwards of having a sexual relationship with the Thunderstones until Pete reminded her of Mrs Thunderstone's doubtful reputation.

That had to be the most embarrassing moment in her life... well, that and the one time when Tony told her mother he heard strange noises out of the cupboard. Jackie found them minutes later _enjoying_ themselves and began to chase the naked Doctor with a broom through the mansion. When Tony asked her innocently what they were doing in there, Rose (thankfully still clothed in shirt and skirt, save for her knickers, which were... somewhere...) told him that the Doctor had an itch, she had to help him with... Well, at least she didn't lie.

Nevertheless, Jackie had an impression of their relationship that was decidedly too close to the truth. She had been careful ever since, that the couple wouldn't vanish together on their own again. The Doctor often compared her to a bloodhound and Rose thought it was strangely appropriate since she heard her mother sniffing every time, she searched for them.

After that happened a few times, the Doctor tried to check if she was possessed by an alien from some 'family', he mentioned before.

Jackie chased him with a baseball bat afterwards and he was convinced of her being the real thing.

Which he preferred was anyone's guess.

Rose woke the Doctor up ("Not the 'dying swan'! _Please_!") and made her way to the bathroom, swaying her naked hips just like _that_ to wake his body up. The Doctor's fourth visit followed shortly.

* * *

The dynamic duo sat in the kitchen, munching their breakfast, while studying the other's every move. After a while, the Doctor emptied a whole glass of marmalade with his fingers and grinned at her. His whole mouth was surrounded by the sticky spread and Rose thought he looked too cute with that happy-go-lucky face and all ruffled up hair.

Slowly, she went to him and cleaned his face with a wet cloth. The Doctor caught her hand in his and kissed her knuckles, looking deeply into her eyes. Their mouths met in a gentle kiss and the human Time Lord's arms encircled her waist. Rose sighed deeply and broke apart from him after a while, resting her forehead on his.

She loved moments like this. As much as she enjoyed the passionate part of their love, it was in moments like this when they felt the full strength of their feelings, of their forever.

Rose grinned at him and nuzzled the short hair on the back of his neck. "So, Shake, what are we going to do today? I think there are still some things on the list, we haven't covered yet."

"Oh, plenty my lovely Shiver! Plenty." He shot her his absolutely irresistible and most boyish grin. "Pete has a very interesting collection of cars in his garage and... since 'naked driving' isn't something we could possibly do without getting arrested anywhere else than here, I thought... you know."

"Right ho!" Rose punched her fist in the air and jumped up and down a few times. The Doctor followed the movements of her breasts and grinned.

"Oi! Less ogling and more concentration, comrade!"

The Doctor frowned. "Comrade?"

Rose shrugged and together, they made their way to the garage.

* * *

To say that the choice was wide would be an understatement. Pete had 15 luxury cars, one more extraordinary than the other. Not for the first time, Rose wondered why he always drove his old Jeep when he had these little pearls waiting to be driven.

After voicing her thoughts to the Doctor, he laughed and answered, "Oh, Rose, I think you would call something like that a 'guy thing'. It's that the cars are too precious to be driven too often."

"What does he have them for, if he doesn't use them?"

The Doctor just shrugged and tried to decide which one to take. He decided on a deep blue Lamborghini while Rose chose a red Porsche Boxter because it 'suited' her fresh painted nails.

He swore, he could hear her 'wheeeeee'-ing when she drove off with open-top, got into 'his' car and drove the other way down the long driveway of the mansion. They drove a few circles and when they passed each other again, the Doctor's eyes were, as often, fixated on her heaving breasts..up, down, up, down... it was hypnotising...

Seconds later, he lost control of the car.

He yanked the steering wheel around, just before he hit the mansion and the it came to a screeching halt.

Rose stopped next to him and let her eyes roam worriedly over the panting Doctor. "Are you alrig-... _What the fucking hell have you done_?!"

Shocked to hear her curse like that, he followed her eyes. They were fixated on the flower bed under the car... flower bed?

"Um, I'm sorry?"

Rose sighed deeply and put her hands on the Doctor's bare shoulders, looking dreadful, like she had to announce his death...

"Doctor... those flowers were my mum's favourite. They were like children for her."

...and she had.


	8. Gardening and Chuck

Rose stared into the Doctor's eyes. He stared back. Both bathed in the horror of the information she just gave him.

"You...You are kidding, right?" The Doctor's voice sounded more like Jackie's when he showed her that dead 'alien' rat a few weeks before (it wasn't really alien... Tony just thought it needed to be washed so he stuffed it into the washing machine. Turned out it didn't enjoy that as much as Tony did... ).

"I fear not, Theta." Oh, nickname. Not good. "She read them bedtime stories... She didn't even do that for Tony. That was always Dad's job."

The Doctor stared at her. Rose stared back.

He gulped. "I'm dead meat, aren't I?"

Rose nodded attentively and stroke his cheek. "Don't worry, I will never ever forget and always love you."

"No."

"Wha-"

"No!"

The Doctor looked with the determination at her, he always had when he fought the most dangerous creatures in the whole universe.

"I'm the Doctor! The last Time L-... Well... the last human Time-... No, wait... the _only_ human Time Lord that ever existed in all of the universes!" He mumbled something that sounded like "yeah, that sounds good!" and stroke a superman pose. Rose thought the only thing missing was the cape and tights... hmm... tights...

He even looked a little like Clark Kent when he wore those glasses of his.

Hmmm... could she get him into tights?

She was dragged out of her wanton thoughts when she noticed a finger snap right in front of her nose.

"Oi! Stop daydreaming, Missy!" He froze and swallowed hard. "Oh, sorry. That was Donna, I think..."

Rose grinned at him. It didn't happen often that he slipped into her speaking way any more but it was still funny to see him acting like a female thirty-something Londoner temp. It reminded her of the time when Cassandra possessed him, since he began to move like that sometimes.

That caused some confusion once, when a friend of Jake thought the Doctor was into their 'league'. Rose waited until he asked if the Doctor wanted to go to his place until she told him that he indeed wasn't talking about 'coffee'.

The Doctor never wished more that alcohol wasn't prohibited in this universe than that day and Jake couldn't resist to laugh and pinch his butt every time he met him.

"He-ey! You are doing it again, Ro-ose! You have to help me save my butt!"

Rose snickered when she heard the word 'butt', but quickly found her composure again. She stretched her fingers as if she had to cope with an unbelievable difficult task (which she did).

"Alright then! Don't get your tight-... I mean... um... panties! Don't get your panties in a bunch." She coughed and looked sheepishly at him. "First we have to call the garden designer-" She ignored the Doctor mouthing 'you even had a designer for the garden' and continued, "-and ask him if he still has the plans for the flower bed... That is, only if you can't say which flower grew where of course..." He got that look on his face, he always got when he didn't want to admit he hadn't the slightest idea about something. "Guess not... Alright, I'm going to make the call and you get dressed to buy the flowers."

The Doctor didn't look enthusiastic about the prospect of getting dressed again but obeyed without questioning. The wrath of one Tyler woman was more than enough for him.

* * *

The designer thankfully still had the plan and sent it to them per email. The Doctor drove off to buy the flowers ("No, you can't take the Lamborghini!") and Rose went to also get dressed. Although she loved their new-found freedom, running around naked all of the time was obviously way too distracting. The flowers already had to pay...

Sighing, she took a bucket out of a cupboard and made her way downstairs to retrieve the dead flowers.

Half an hour later, the Doctor came back and stopped Pete's Jeep right in front of Rose. She gaped at the sight in front of her.

The Jeep's back was full of flowers that the Doctor was supposed to buy but in the seat next to him stood a thin palm tree.

Rose could feel a vein popping up. "Doctor... what's that?"

He beamed at her, oblivious to her enragement. "That's Chuck. Isn't he brilliant?"

Now she felt a smile tugging at the corner of her mouth. Trying to keep a straight face, she asked, "Chuck?"

"Yep!", the Doctor answered, popping the 'p'. "Poor Chuck had been in the shop for _ages _and no one wanted to buy him. Isn't that right, Chuck?" Now he began to pet the palm's leaves like he did so often with the TARDIS before.

"Riiiiiiight. Care to tell me how you want to explain to Mum where a big palm tree suddenly came from?"

"Ow, won't have to of course! He is coming home with us, aren't you, you fabulous little green wonder?" The Doctor cooed and bowed forward to plant a big smooch on the plant (no pun intended).

"Watch it, Doc. Your girlfriend is getting jealous here!" Rose chuckled and shook her head. "I should have known about that kink when you flirted with that tree on Platform One."

"Don't worry, darling. Chuck and I are just friends and I only love you." He wiggled his eyebrows at her, causing her to have a laughing fit.

After sobering up, she said, "Okay, get us some shovels. We have some work to do."

The Doctor had never been much of a gardener and he certainly didn't remember it being this hard work... Looking over at Rose, he noticed that she also had a bead of sweat running down her face. He reached into his pocket and took out the well worn list, he always carried around with him (as long as he didn't do something on it, that is).

He searched through its content and grinned when he found what he was looking for.

The Doctor tapped Rose on her shoulder and showed her what he found. She grinned back and together, they began to take their clothes off.

_Time for some naked gardening! _the Doctor thought and began to whistle.

Rose rolled her eyes and looked worriedly at the burning sun above them. She stood up but stilled when the human Time Lord asked her where she was going.

"I'm gonna get us some sunscreen. Our skin will get burned otherwise..."

The Doctor shot her a smug grin. "Maybe you, but I haven't had a sunburn in all of my 900 years of life!"

Rose arched an eyebrow. "Technically speaking, you are about three months old. Well, your hand is a few years old, I guess... and still fully Time Lord. The rest, though... Are you sure, you won't get burned?"

"Of course!"

Two hours later, he screamed like a baby when Rose put some lotion on his red skin.

* * *

After he had his necessary time of pouting, Rose found him in the living room again. Apparently, he told 'Chuck' some things about their work at Torchwood. She put his steaming mug of tea on the table and asked with sarcasm dripping voice, if Chuck would also like to have a cuppa.

Scandalised, the Doctor made a motion with his hands as if to cover Chuck's non-existent ears. "How can you say something like that?! Tea is brewed out of leaves! You don't want to drink something made out of your ancestor's body parts, do you?" He pointed an accusing finger at her and Rose groaned. Sometimes the urge to strangle him was unbelievable strong.

She sat down and answered with a surprisingly sweet voice. "No, I don't. I'm sooooo sorry Chuck, it won't happen again," she said and shook one of his leaves.

The Doctor beamed at her. "See, Chuck? I told you, she is brilliant! I'm so glad you two are getting along!"

Rose banged her head on the table ("Oi! Watch the tea!") pondered once again, how she will be able to keep her sanity around him.

"And you really don't have to be jealous, Rose! You will always be the Number One in my heart! Chuck is coming close second, though," he said lovingly and stroke the palm again.

Instead of strangling him, Rose settled for slapping his aching, red back. Hard.

Seconds later an agonizing scream echoed throughout the mansion.


	9. Dinner

A few things: I just HAD to use a line out of American Pie... Sorry about that :P

Then about Chuck: He is a coconut palm, those you can normally find on beaches and all those pretty pictures are from. Chuck is, of course, still a kid and therefore small :P

Then: If someone can tell me, which game the name is from, he or she will get a kiss from either Rose or the Doctor... And I'm serious about that! ;)

Hint: In the game, it's also a plant who is named Chuck.

Alright then, on with Number 12...

* * *

Totally, completely and utterly (same thing?) frustrated, Rose asked herself if the Doctor, _her_ Doctor, _really_ didn't have any regenerations in this life... Maybe she should test it?

"... and then, Rose fell into the mud and looked like a Gorgolo! Can you believe it? Jake even made pictures... Wait, I'm gonna show them to you when we are home. She looked sooo funny and-"

Just a one, two _hundred _blows on the head... he could surely survive that, right? He has this big Time Lord brain after all... Surely, it is resistant to beatings...

"Oh! And the one time when she got covered in alien poo! I tried to tell her, that it's coming out of their fronts... but did she listen to me? Noooo, of course not! Ah, Chuck... you are the only one who truly understands me!"

He always insisted to have superior physiology after all...

"-you wouldn't believe the face she made, when that alien ambassador asked her, if she was my pet! I could have died for laughter! Even bought her a little collar with diamonds afterwards... turned out she preferred an engagement ring... I still kept it, though. Could be that she will be interested in trying something new in our relationship someday... Jake thought so, too, when I told him about it. The Rose from this universe _is_ a dog, after all..."

Screw it! Resistant or not... he is gonna pay!

Rose sneaked up to the Doctor with a baseball bat in her hands. She hold it over her head and was ready to strike when he suddenly turned around and beamed happily at her.

"Rose, there you are! I just told Chuck some more things about our Torchwood adventures! He is a great listener... Um, what are you doing with the bat?" He looked at her with his big, doe-like chocolate eyes, a brilliant smile on his face and hair so lovely dishevelled that Rose urged to run her hands through it.

"Awwww!" She threw the bat away, ignored the sound of shattering glass, jumped over the couch, grabbed his shoulders and crashed his lips with hers in a thorough snog.

The Doctor immediately threw his arms around her and pressed her body to his. Running his hand through her hair, he returned the kiss with all his might and enjoyed the feeling of her tongue exploring his mouth.

Hands roamed over each other's bodies, tongues slid over hot skin and teeth bit on sensitive spots.

The human Time Lord groaned when Rose found that special spot behind his ear and for Rose it was like a wakeup call. She jumped off him, stepped back and took him in. He lay half on the couch, lips swollen from her kisses, a red spot on his neck that was surely beginning to form into a love bite and eyes glassed over by his desire... not to mention another body part, which stood to attention.

"Rose? What's wrong?" the Doctor asked confused and groggily.

She panted. "Three days!" And with that, she fled out of the room.

The Doctor stared at the spot, where she vanished seconds before. Perplexed, he looked over at Chuck. "See? That's why you should be glad to be an hermaphrodite! You can't run away from yourself..."

* * *

Rose, meanwhile, took a _very_ cold shower... She couldn't believe how close she was to shagging him rotten... How could it be that she had such little control over herself? Okay, she had been torn apart from him, closed off in another universe, spent three and a half years of finding a way back, searched through hundreds of parallel universes for him, thought he would die shortly after their reunion, was left from her original Doctor, who gave her this human copy of himself, which apparently had the maturity of an hormonal teenager but turned otherwise out to be exactly like him... even _was_ him after all... Was all this reason enough to turn into an sex addict?

_Maybe it is... _Rose thought, while she pleased herself in the shower.

* * *

The Doctor made his way upstairs. After having a long talk with Chuck about Rose's family, his 'little' friend decided to calm down again without 'assistance' (the numerous mentioning of Jackie could have helped a little with that...) and he realized that Rose had been gone far too long for his taste.

Nearing the bathroom, he heard the water running. "Rose? Everything alright in there?" He only heard a grunt but took it as a 'yes'. "I wondered if you were hungry? I could make chips..."

"YES, oh GOOOOOD! YES!"

That startled the Doctor. She always loved chips, but had never been this enthusiastic before...

"Ehm... alright then... dinner should be ready in about twenty minutes. Are you gonna come down then?"

"YES! I'm coming... I'M COMING!"

He scratched his head. "Good... take your time..." Confused, he went into the kitchen

In the meantime, Rose slumped to the ground. She never came this hard with just her fingers before... The abstinence sure helped to increase the sexual tension between them...

* * *

The Doctor whistled, while explaining to Chuck how he made chips. Chuck listened attentively, like the good little palm tree he was... the Doctor couldn't be prouder of him!

He put the chips into the chip pan (the Doctor, not Chuck of course... little bit too dangerous for him, since he is rather inflammable) and turned his little banana kitchen clock on ten minutes. Then he put Chuck into the living room and went to set the table after sprinkling his plant friend's leaves lovingly.

After everything was ready, he heard the banana clock and went to get the chips. He stopped dead in his track when he spotted Rose in the doorway...

A very wet, naked and adorable blushing Rose...

"Doctoooor..."

A very wet, naked and adorable blushing Rose who actually purred his name...

He swallowed. "Three days, right?" She nodded and he noticed her devilish pink tongue poking out between her teeth. The Doctor groaned. "You are not playing fair, you know?"

"'All is fair in love and war'... And this is kind of both." She winked at him and sat down.

"Uh, don't you go and quote Frank Smedley... although generally speaking, it's from Miguel de Cervantes, since he paraphrased the sentence out of his 'Don Quijote'... " He paused. "They did exist in this universe, right?"

Rose grinned. "Yep... although, Cervantes preferred to be called 'Juan' here, since it went better with the ladies..."

The Doctor stared at her. "You are kidding..." She shook her head. "Well, he had always been an interesting fella... little bit crazy maybe, but interesting. Met him two years after he lost his left hand." He grimaced. "Must have hurt that... imagine... losing your hand..." He noticed the incredulous look, Rose gave him. "What? What is it?"

"Um... Christmas, sword fight, the handy hand your body was actually born out of?"

"Ooooh, yes!_ I _lost my hand." He wriggled his fingers. "Brilliant!"

Rose giggled and stood up to help him with the chips. "Time for some naked dinner, Doc," she said cheekily and evaded the table napkin, he throw at her.

* * *

After they finished dinner, they continued to chat a little while digesting their extensive meal.

Rose listened to the Doctor's adventures with Cervantes and enjoyed every minute of it. She always loved his stories about historical figures.

"He was quite adventurous, actually, and had problems with the law a few times. I guess, he was a lot like me... always striving for new experiences. That's what I always loved about humans: although you are restricted by so many things, you always try to make the best out of your short lives... Well, I say 'you', but I guess it should be 'we' now." He scratched his head. "Quite confusing sometimes."

Rose stood up to sat down on his lap. He grinned at her and bent his head for a kiss.

After a three minute snog, they finally broke apart and Rose began to draw circles on his chest. "Do you think, we are making the best out of our lives?"

"Oh, yes!" he answered and placed his lips on hers for another kiss. It was in moments like this that they felt the Earth turning again...


	10. SkinnyDipping

roseandtenshipper from teaspoon knew that I used the name Chuck from Maniac Mansion and therefore gets the kiss ;)

This is number 8:

* * *

After their snog session, the Doctor and Rose decided they were in need of a cool-down (in more ways than one...), so they went to the pool for a quick swim. They killed two birds with one stone that way, since 'skinny dipping' was Number 8.

Having learned from his mistakes, the Doctor went to get them water-proofed sunscreen (after he placed Chuck on one of the sunlounger, much to Rose's dismay...).

"Oi, why is the plant getting the best seat?" she asked pouting.

The Doctor had to pinch his hand behind his back, in order to restrain him from thinking, where else he would like her lovely lips to be right now. Wouldn't be that good to get a hard-on again, while it is faintly certain that Rose won't bother to help him out for a while... Not to mention that it gave her the possibility to taunt him with it.

"His name is Chuck, Rose, and he is a palm tree... You don't hear me calling you a primate, do you?" He suddenly saw _that_ vein on her lovely forehead popping up, which usually meant pain... mucho pain of the non-pleasurable kind.

"Ehm... you see, he is still small and needs a lot of sunlight to gr-" Oh... second vein... that meant destruction and death... _really_ not good... "Th-that is... I...ehm... Your skin! I think you had better sit in the shade to protect your lovely skin!"

The Doctor noticed that his 'save' apparently didn't do anything to save him at all. He threw his remaining dignity away and did the only thing that could save his sorry ass: begging with puppy-dog-eyes. "_Please_, don't hurt me!"

Rose sighed, went to one of the sunloungers (_not_ in the shade) and lay down on her belly. "Put some lotion on my _body!_" She said this in a commanding voice and especially emphasized the word _body_.

Already feeling the oncoming frustration (no pun intended), he answered "Yes, ma'am!", saluted and went to carry out his task. He shot a quick glance to Chuck that clearly said 'Yeah, I'm whipped... but you would be too if you were in my place. Tyler women are the most terrifying creatures in the whole universe... ask the Dalek emperor and Pete, if you don't believe me!' and felt very smug that he still got the power to put up to 15 sentences in one two-seconds-glance, an ability he actually gained on Taunterlus X-9.

The Doctor suddenly remembered something and blew a kiss to practically no one.

"Oi! What was that smacking sound?"

"Just fulfilled a promise to one of my lovely fans!" He ignored Rose's muttering ("Daft half-alien loony.") and spread some of the cool sunscreen on his hands. Then he began to slide them gently over Rose's back.

She shuddered with the first contact on her heated skin and then relaxed when he began to massage her shoulders. Rose moaned when the Doctor reached an especially tense spot and chuckled when she heard him groan in response. The poor guy really had a _hard _time with her...

The Doctor's hands moved down over her back and she shivered when his fingers just barely touched her waist. This time, it was him who chuckled at her reaction.

Then his fingers wandered even lower to the small of her back and over her bum. He couldn't resist to squeeze her luscious cheeks a little and grinned when he heard her gasp.

"Do-doctor, I-" Was that really her voice? She swore it wasn't that high before... "I think I can manage from here on..."

The Doctor was very pleased with himself. "Are you sure? I don't mind to cover the rest of your body... Especially-" His hands slid down to her thighs. "-certain areas." She could hear him practically wiggling his eyebrows.

When his hands moved a little bit higher between her thighs, she suddenly turned her body around and looked at him with wide eyes, a slight blush evident on her face.

Panting, she said, "I-I'm fine!", stood up, ran to the pool's edge and dived into the water.

The Doctor grinned at Chuck. "Yeah, still got it!"

* * *

The rest of the afternoon, the Doctor and Rose spent with playing volleyball in the water and fooling around. Once in a while, the Doctor went to Chuck to see if he was alright and to put some sun lotion on him.

Rose rolled her eyes. "He is a damn plant, Doctor... Not a kid."

"Doesn't make him less important, Rose Tyler." He turned his head to her. "And I have to practise for later."

Her body went stiff for a moment. That wasn't a subject they touched before... "So, you... you want to?"

"Want what?" He already went back to his task and put some lotion on the palm tree's leaves. Could Chuck speak, he would tell him to look out for a flying sandal. "Ouch! What was that for?!"

"I'm trying to talk to you about having children and you are paying no attention!"

The Doctor looked at her. _Really_ looked at her. It was no question for him that they would have children at one time, but he didn't expect the subject to come up so soon. "You aren't really asking me, if I want to have children with you, do you?"

She looked sad for a moment and he wondered if it was something that he has said, when suddenly a light bulb lit up in his head. "No! No, no, no, no, no, no! I meant that it shouldn't be a question! Of course I want to!"

Rose was in his arms in an instant and he nuzzled his nose into her hair, breathing in her scent.

She grinned and hold him even tighter. Tongue peeking out between her teeth, she said, "The apartment won't be big enough any more. We will need a house... "

"Oh, yes!"

"With windows, doors and carpets."

"Oh, yes!"

"And without a mortgage."

"Oh, ye-... eh... What?" He pulled back to look at her face and fought the urge to kiss her, when he saw this lovely little pink tongue...

"Pete already suggested to lent us money for a house... We can give it back over the years. Would be better than a mortgage, wouldn't it?"

The Doctor grinned again. "Oh, yes!" Then he looked thoughtful for a second. "Can we get one with a whirlpool?"

She swatted his arm and laughed at his suggestive leer. "Down, boy! Still got some time to kill."

He pouted again and Rose realised that it became harder and harder to fight her desires.

* * *

"No!"

"But Ro-"

"Absolutely not!"

"Come on! Just for tonight..."

"No!" Rose glared at him. "I can understand that you need someone who can't run away when you are talking, but this is too much!"

They stood in front of their bed. Chuck was currently situated on a chair next to it and wore a nightcap on his leaves. The Doctor thought he looked adorable. Rose thought he looked ridiculous... and she was right.

The Londoner girl sighed. "You can't seriously think, I would let 'Chuck' sleep in our bed, do you?"

"Pretty please? It's his first night at the mansion... He is scared!"

"He is a plant."

"Palm tree."

"Still plant."

"I have to inform you, Rose Tyler, that palm trees are leading the Earth in two billion years! You could speak to an ancestor of the future king!" He wagged a finger at her.

"Not the same universe, Doctor. And he can be the plant of the president for all that I care! He won't sleep with us!"

"But, Ro-"

"No! He is a plant! And like every other plant, it's best for him to stand in one place!" She paused for a moment. "By the way... did you even water him today?"

The Doctor looked suddenly completely shocked, turned around and ran into the bathroom.

"Nutter," Rose said lovingly and climbed into their bed.

* * *

Thirty minutes later, Chuck was watered and Rose threatened the Doctor to extent their sex-less days (ha!) to a week. He finally gave up and apologised to Chuck. Then he slipped under the sheets, lay an arm around her and placed a hand on her belly. He couldn't wait until a new life would grow inside her... a little version of him, her and the hope for a Gallifreyan race in this universe. He didn't know if he still had enough Time Lord DNA inside him but he still hoped for a new start of his people.

With this thoughts, sleep claimed him and he dreamed of his future family.

The palm tree meanwhile had different thoughts. He stood under the window and bathed in the moonlight, while thinking that maybe... just maybe he would have been better off in the shop.

* * *

Please review! Makes my fingers type faster ;)


	11. Dancing

Do I have to be worried when my dog apparently finds my right arm very attractive?  
cough Off topic, sorry :P

This chapter is less funny than fluffy and smutty. It's like a curtain for the next one, the drumroll most explicit smut scene I have ever written (puh, I'm putting lot of pressure on me now XD)  
Because of that (and personal reasons... who needs family parties, hm?), it could take a little longer than normally.

Meanwhile, have fun with Number 4...

* * *

_Rose stood in one of those giant bedrooms on Xeron V, known for their investments in pleasure. She wore one of those costumes, most women of that planet felt comfortable in: a short cami top and slow-slung trousers both see-through and in a light pink. Under the trousers, she wore a revealing thong._

_She stepped up to the bed, when she suddenly heard the door behind her. The Doctor stood in front of her, clad only in wide trousers and with a huge grin on his face. She grinned back and gasped when he stepped behind her and took one of her breasts in his hands. He kissed her neck hungrily and put the other hand on her belly._

_Rose moaned when he pinched her nipple through the thin material and gasped when his other hand wandered from her stomach down to the waistband of her trousers._

_Slowly, he moved his hand under her trousers and panties. His index finger found her clit and began to draw small circles around it, causing her to moan. The Doctor's other hand meanwhile, reached the, before neglected, breast and began to massage her nipple with its thumb._

_She gasped when he pressed his pelvis into her back and she could feel his erection. The hand in her panties went further down and pressed its middle finger into her slick heat. Rose moaned again and panted heavily when suddenly-_

THUMP

Confused, aroused and very very frustrated, Rose's head shot up. She tried to understand where she was and gasped when she felt something move _inside_ of her. She looked behind her and saw the Doctor, one hand in her panties, the other on one of her breasts, looking suspiciously sheepish.

It suddenly dawned to her what happened...

"Doctor!"

He withdraw his hands, jumped up from the ground they must have fallen onto and held up his hands for protection. "I'm innocent, really!" Some of her juice still stuck on his fingers.

"You fingered me in my sleep!"

"Well, yeah...maybe...it was probably... I didn't do it deliberately at first!"

"Oh, and what does that mean, you big half-alien sex maniac?! Did your little friend there-" She pointed to his still evident erection, which seemed to shrunk under her glare. "-force you to do it?!"

"Well, actually-" He looked again at her glare and sighed. "-no... I just had a dream and... well, I woke up with my fingers on you and you were moaning, so I thought you enjoyed it... Which you obviously did." He wiggled his fingers, making Rose blush in the process.

"W-whatever... just don't do that any more..."

"And what now?" He grinned smugly at her.

"Now-" She stepped up to him and lay her arms around his neck. Rose turned her head to whisper in his ear. "-I'm going back to bed. While you-" She put both of her hands on his chest. "-sleep somewhere else!" She pushed him out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

The Doctor stood outside, completely dumbstruck. He looked a little like a lost puppy with his wide brown eyes and felt strangely forlorn with his semi-erection. "Rose! I'm sorry... please let me in!"

"No way!" came her muffled voice through the door.

"But-" The Doctor was, for once, lost for words. "-ehm... What about Chuck?"

He heard a groan and then fast footsteps. Suddenly, the door opened again and Rose threw Chuck into his arms (he just caught him barely). Then she slammed the door shut again.

He looked at the palm tree in his arms. "See? That happens when you try to do something for your woman!"

Breakfast was rather awkward that morning. Rose avoided his eyes and munched silently her cornflakes while the Doctor still pouted and mumbled occasionally things to Chuck like 'ungrateful', 'unnecessary' and... 'Raxacoricofallapatorius'?

"What?" Rose asked perplexed when she caught that word.

"What?"

"Don't start that. What did you say about Raxacoricofallapatorius?"

He mumbled something incomprehensible.

"What was that?"

The Doctor began to fiddle with his fingers. "It's just that... female Raxacoricofallapatorians are less... complicated than humans... I mean... you enjoyed me touching you and then you just threw me out!"

Rose sighed. "It doesn't matter that I enjoyed it. You know what I said about sex while we are here..."

Unexpectedly, he began to grin smugly which caused her to repeat everything, she just said in her head. Finding nothing wrong with it, she asked, "What?"

"Weeeeell... you just admitted that you enjoyed it!" His grin became even broader when her face flushed. "You miss it too, don't you? The touching, sucking, nipping-" Her face became with every word redder than before. "-our role-play games..." He waggled his eyebrows at her and Rose had the sudden urge to hide under the table when she remembered some of their little play-out fantasies.

Getting her composure back, she admitted defeat. "Okay, I _do_ miss it... of course I do, but... this is also kind of important for me. Don't you think we are losing control, lately?"

Seeing his questioning gaze, she continued, "Just think about the beginning... We were pretty shy with each other... At least everywhere other than the bedroom... And then, three months later, we nearly have sex in a fountain... in a _public park,_ no less. Not to mention the part of being caught and continuing in the cell..."

The Doctor winced. "Alright... that wasn't one of our brightest ideas... That traffic offender got quite the show..."

"You see what I mean? Let's just try to survive these four days..."

"Today... is the third, right?"

"Yep-" She stepped up to him, lay a hand on his chest and looked deeply into his eyes. "and when the day is over... at midnight... I think we can say that we made it and-" She nibbled on his ear before saying, "-make good for all of this build-up sexual tension between us."

The Doctor shuddered in anticipation.

They spent the morning moderately clothed and did all sorts of things to keep their minds off the wicked little fantasies they tended to come up with lately.

Rose watched a dozen of Pete's DVDs (he had a remarkable collection... the Doctor suspected he used them to tune Jackie out) and he explored the mansions attic, where he broke nearly everything, he got into his hands. He pondered if Rose and her mother would believe him that it was Chuck... but dismissed the idea instantly again. Only God would know what Jackie could do to a defenceless palm tree (and maybe the 'beast' since Jackie and he would certainly be kindred spirits).

Afternoon came and after dinner, the Doctor joined Rose in her DVD marathon. They snuggled together on the sofa while watching a funny film about two newborn parents. The Doctor laughed about a scene where their young son used an apparently very dangerous catapult-like device, that his dad built, and was tossed through the air. He landed safely on the other side while giggling about his fun new game..

Rose stared at him. "You _wouldn't_ build something dangerous like _that_ for _our_ son, would you?"

He became silent at once, coughed and looked at her. "Of course not!" Then he fiddled with his fingers again, a trait a seemed to have acquired in the last few days. "You said son... do you want one? A son?"

Her former angry face changed into a beaming smile. "Yes... a son and then a daughter... that would be nice."

Their fingers found each other and the Doctor drew her even closer with his other arm. "Yeah... it would be."

Evening approached and it became more and more difficult for the couple to concentrate on the screen. In the last half an hour, they couldn't keep their hands from each other and snogged occasionally.

After one of those 'intense' moments, the Doctor pulled away. Panting, he asked, "Ho-How long till midnight?"

Rose leant forward to look at the clock. "Five and a half our." She grinned at him. "'Always wait five and a half hour'!"

He chuckled and kissed her again. While snogging the hell out of her he got one of his more brilliant ideas. "Rose.. we didn't do anything naked today..." He stood up and bowed, left hand behind his back, the other one extended to her. "May I have this dance?"

Rose giggled and took his hand.

They swirled laughing through the room, dancing to a tune only they were able to hear. Chuck stood on a table, forgotten for the moment and seemingly glowing with the couple's joy.

Clothes disappeared like so often in the past few days and while stealing kisses now and then, they danced through the night.

The Doctor led Rose into a tango and showed her exactly how one of the most erotic dances can feel without clothes. He bent her other his arm, her left leg encircled his waist. Both stayed a while like this, panting from their exhausting ability.

Slowly, he pulled her up again and looked deeply into her eyes.

The clock struck twelve.

* * *

Press the big, threatening review button and give the author some food ;)


	12. Playing Tag

Puh, finally finished... And earlier than I thought I would be.  
This chapter is like you can see a LOT longer than normally and contains explicit smut.

Guess, I don't have to tell you that I need as many opinions as possible for this chapter because I never wrote smut to this extent... So please tell me afterwards if it worked it's magic :)

Have fun with Number 26...

* * *

"It's Midnight..."

"Oh, yes!" The Doctor dipped his head to kiss her again, but she evaded his lips and pulled out of his arms.

"Doctor, I have an absolutely brilliant idea!"

"I bet you have... " he responded hungrily, eyes roaming over her body. The last few hours had been extremely _hard_ for him.

Rose's tongue poked out between her teeth. She swatted the Doctor hard on his back and said, "Catch me, if you can!" And off she was.

He gave a predatory growl. All of his primal senses suddenly focused on one thing: catching his prey.

The Doctor was after her in an instant, feet carrying him faster than ever before... but Rose was fast, too. She had more than enough experience in escaping her enemies and leapt through the mansion like a young gazelle.

Running out of the mansion, she began to laugh hysterically as she leapt through the soft grass, the moonlight shining on her naked body.

Her breath caught in her throat, when she looked back and saw the Doctor behind her. He was near... of course he was, but that wasn't what left her panting. It was how he looked at her... eyes nearly black, head slightly bowed, like an animal stalking its prey.

It was frightening... but at the same time very very exciting.

Rose felt her body grow hot in the cold breeze. The Doctor grabbed her arm and pulled her to him. Her body merged into his and she was entirely unable to escape his captivating gaze.

"You ran away," he growled, his voice so much deeper than she was used to.

"Yes..." Rose whispered, still being hold by his eyes.

The Doctor lay the hand, which wasn't holding her wrist, on the small of her back. Slowly he let it slide up and down her spine, making her shudder. "Don't do that again... you are..." He moved his head to whisper in her ear. Hot breath tickled her skin. "...mine!"

Rose swallowed hard when she felt herself getting wet because of his words. She nodded slowly and he laughed.

He suddenly picked her up and she yelped when he threw her over his shoulder like a bag of plunder. Slowly, he walked back with her into the mansion.

At first, she protested loudly about this uncomfortable position and demanded to be put down, but then she noticed that the view was quite... convenient.

Grinning, she watched his muscular cheeks moving with every fast step, he took. "Someone has been working out..."

"Rose Tyler, are you ogling my bum?" he asked with his deep voice and a hint of amusement.

"Well, it's not like I can do anything else in this position... although..." She slapped his bum, hard, and grinned when he yelped in surprise. "Like that, Mr Smith?" Her tongue showed up again.

He growled lowly. "I'm going to show you what I like pretty soon, Miss Tyler..."

Rose shuddered. His voice was so full of promises that she felt another wave of heat surged through her body and ending in the one place, she wished the him to be.

She suddenly heard the Doctor take a deep breath. "Oi, did you just breath me in?"

"Couldn't resist... your scent is intoxicating..." He slapped her ass in revenge and laughed at her outraged cry. Smelling another dose of her, he sped up his pace. The Doctor was already full aroused and begged silently that he will have the stamina for what he had planned tonight.

Finally, they reached their bedroom and the Doctor dropped her unceremoniously on the bed. Without letting Rose catch her breath, he covered her body with his and caught her lips in an earth-shattering kiss.

Rose moaned into his mouth, her body nearly bursting of desire for him. She let her hand wander over his firm chest, exploring every muscle and rib. One of her hands stayed on his chest, where it could feel his racing heart, the other moved down to his belly and even further. Slowly. Maddening slow, if the Doctor's frustrated moans in her mouth were any indication.

She swallowed his soundless cries, while ravaging his mouth with her tongue. He began a battle with her, fighting for dominance in this pleasurable game and got it when one of his hands found her clit.

Rose cried out and let go of his mouth. The Doctor used the time to catch both of her hands and hold them over her head. This time it was him, who explored her mouth and made her moan.

While distracting her in this enjoyable way, he put her hands together and began to hold them up with only one of his.

Being completely obvious to his actions due to their recent activity, Rose dedicated herself to the kiss. Nibbling on his upper lip and using her tongue to do unspeakable things to his, she suddenly pulled away and gasped when she felt cold metal on her wrist shortly before hearing a quiet click.

"Hey, not fair! Where did you get those?" she said, after looking up at her hands and seeing the shining metallic cuffs.

The Doctor sat up a bit and grinned at her. "Believe me, you _don't_ want to know. And now-" He moved down a bit and put his head between her thighs, breathing her in once again. "-it's time to eat."

Rose gasped when she felt him beginning to lick her just _there_ and moaned, while tugging desperately on the cuffs. She cursed, when she felt the slightly sharp edge on her wrists.

The Doctor paused his task and looked up at her. "I would be a little more careful, Rosie. Those are nothing like our fluffy ones at home." He grinned smugly. "So, be a good girl and stay patient."

Rose wanted to tell him what he could do with that gob of his, but groaned instead when he found her clit again and gave it a little pinch.

While keeping massaging it with his thumb, he moved his head back between her legs and put his tongue into her opening. In. Out. In. Out. The tongue was replaced by two of his fingers. In. Out. In. Out. And soon, the bedroom was filled with her cries of pleasure.

Rose felt her desire building up and grabbed the headboard in order to avoid cutting her wrists with the cuffs. "_Doctoooor!_" She moaned his name louder than ever before and arched her back when she felt an enormous orgasm shaking her sweaty body.

Grinning, when he felt her convulsing around his fingers, he looked up at her panting face and asked, "Feeling good, then?" while grinning like a maniac.

Trying to catch her breath, she smiled at him with hazy eyes. "Good? Are you kidding? I feel bloody fantastic! And now, wipe that stupid grin off your face and get me out of these cuffs."

The Doctor's grin became even wider, if possible. "No chance. I waited a looong time for this night and we are playing with _my_ rules."

Suddenly, Rose began to pout and he knew that her next words sealed his fate... "But, Doctor... I wanna lick you like that banana lolly on our third date on this Earth." She began to purr. "Bananas are _gooood_..."

The cuffs were gone in an instant and Rose lose no time to grab his shoulders and throw him down on the bed. She knelt over him and let her tongue wander over his nipples.

The Doctor cried out when she bit him gently and her fingers wandered over his chest. Grinning when she reached further down and found her destination, she gave him a quick kiss before taking his stiff member into her hand and gently moving up and down.

The Doctor groaned deeply and grabbed the sheets when she additionally moved her head down and licked deliciously over his head. With her unengaged hand, she began to gently massage his balls, making his breathing heavier and groans deeper in the process.

Then she withdrew her hands, gave him a last long lick (he gasped at the sensation) and took him into her mouth.

He cried out at the sudden warmth and turned his head to watch the movements of her head. In moments like this he always felt a wave of male pride building up in him. It wasn't like he felt superior or dominant over Rose when she did this for him, like some other men would feel... no, it was more like he felt proud of himself that such a beautiful, smart woman fell in love with him.

The feeling that no other man, not even _him, _will ever know her like he does, will never _love_ her like he does, filled him with such wonder, contentment and... bliss... yeah, there was no other word for it... that he could scream in joy, every little second, he spent with her.

Suddenly, he felt another form of _bliss _surge through him. "_Rose_... you...oh GOD, you have to...stop now... or... or I'm-" She grabbed his balls again and he jerked a little. "Rose! Didn't you... didn't you hear me..."

She let go of him with a slick plop. "Oh, I did hear you... but you are so _delicious_!"

The Doctor nearly came from watching her, when she slowly licked her lips. He growled, grabbed her shoulders and threw her down on the mattress.

Rose giggled, but soon began to moan when he licked her right nipple while rolling the other one around with his thumb.

Hearing her moans and cries of pleasure, he could barely hold back any more. "Rose... I think I... I can't-"

She drew him down for a kiss and whispered into his ear, "Stop talking and fuck me already."

He gave another feral growl and thrust into her slick heat. Both cried out at the long awaited union and he waited a little to let them adjust to this new sensation. Then he began a slow, controlled pace to draw out each other's pleasure.

Rose grabbed the back of his head and pulled him down for slow, passionate kisses, matching his pace. She slowly felt her second orgasm approaching and longed for him to quicken his pace.

Like reading her thoughts, he sped up his thrusts and grinned at her when she gasped. "Your wish is my command."

Rose grinned back and put her legs around his waist to draw him even deeper into her. She always forgot how good he was able to read her without invading her mind. It was like he had a whole database of information about her in that Time Lord brain of his. He registered every look, change of voice, movement, gesture,... everything possible about her and what it meant.

That became especially useful in situations like this, since no words were needed between them to let him know how to please her.

Suddenly, the world seemed to stop for her when she came again after another hard thrust of the Doctor. He slowed down a bit to let her ride out her orgasm and clenched his teeth when he felt her convulse around his shaft. He knew, he wouldn't be able to keep his own orgasm off much longer but intended to make her come one more time. All good things _come _in three, after all...

He continued his slow thrusts and simultaneously used his fingers to stimulate her clit. Soon, Rose writhed in pleasure again and moaned his name while digging her fingertips into his back.

Knowing, she was close again the Doctor stopped holding back and thrust harder and faster into her while matching her cries. As soon as he felt her orgasm a third time around him that night, he let himself go and came with a vast scream, spilling his hot seed into her.

The Doctor fell down on her, unable to hold his shuddering body up any longer and tried to catch his breath. He felt Rose's arms around him and nuzzled his head into her hair, breathing in that fruit shampoo, she knew he loved to smell on her.

After a while, the Doctor pulled out of Rose and lay down beside her, drawing her into his arms. Rose sighed contented and absolutely sated, when she lay her ear against his chest over his still racing heart, listening to his single human heartbeat.

She suddenly giggled and the Doctor raised an eyebrow. "Oi, have a good reason for disturbing one of our most brilliant afterglows with your girly giggling?"

"Oh, yes," she answered, mimicking one of his favourite turn of words. "I just thought that, if we were at home, Mrs Thunderstone would have stumbled over her own legs to get to the window..."

The Doctor chuckled. "Yeah, I suppose our cries must have been heard in all of London."

Rose looked up at him in total wonder. "Did the mighty half-Time Lord just really admit that I made him cry out in pleasure?"

"Oh, yes-" He kissed her gently on the lips, making her sigh. "- and I can assure you, you are the only one in this universe who can do that."

She arched an eyebrow at his choice of words. "Only in this universe?"

He scratched his head. "Yeah, well... I guess _Jack_ can make _anyone_ scream, so..."

"I knew, you had a thing for him!" She looked thoughtful for a moment. "Hmm... would be kind of hot to see the two of you together..."

"Oi, mind out of the gutter, Rose Tyler! One of your secret fantasies, huh?"

"Nah, that went better with your first body..."

She swallowed his outraged cries with a long kiss.

"And I have to tell you something else..." Rose took his hand into his and began to play with his fingers. Her tongue poked out between her teeth and she looked up at him with sparkling eyes. Her hair all mussed up and cheeks still slightly flushed from recent activities, the Doctor thought, she looked never more beautiful than in this very moment.

Her next words burned this picture of her for all of eternity into his mind. "Doctor... After our talk about children... and even before, our first day in the mansion..." Rose took a deep breath. "I didn't take the pill... forgot all about it, really... so we... we may be pregnant."

It took a moment for the Doctor to let realisation set in. "Pr- Pregnant? Now? Baby? In there?" He lay a hand on her flat belly and Rose laughed. A look of full concentration lay upon his face, like he tried to feel her future child growing in her.

"Can't be sure, of course... have to make a test first. But yeah, it's possible now... That is, if you... you know... are ready for it and all..."

"Ready?" He began to jump up and down on the bed, making Rose laugh. "I'm the readiest ready person who has ever been ready on this Earth! A baby... blimey..." He dropped down again and beamed at her. "We have to get a house as soon as possible! And all of those baby things like nappies! Nappies are good... avoiding making a mess and such... And a cradle of course! Think I can build one myself? TARDIS blue would be nice... OH! And a name, lovely! Of course, names will be most important... can't go and call our child 'Hey, you there!', all the time, can we? Everything has a name, after all... even nothing has the name 'nothing', really... although, kind of silly that-" He stopped his rambling when he heard a strangled laugh. "Rose, are you laughing at me?"

She stopped her useless attempts to suppress her laughter and got a laughing fit, making him pout. "Sorry-" Rose said between giggles. "It's just so adorable how enthusiastic you already are... we don't know if it worked, after all..." Her tongue poked out between her teeth again. "May need to practise for a while..."

And they did.

* * *

After several orgasms, screams and excessive use of the handcuffs, the Doctor used his very own sonic screwdriver to check Rose for pregnancy, which resulted to more orgasms and screams when it turned out to be negative.

Five hours later, they chased each other through the several rooms of the mansion, playing tag again. Rose cried out in joy, when the Doctor caught her around the waist in the foyer and turned around to snog him, when suddenly the door opened, revealing the other members of the Tyler family.

Both looked in shock at the newcomers.

Rose dived behind a curtain, while the Doctor grabbed Chuck to hide his parts (who conveniently stood beside him on a table).

Pete turned around in embarrassment and Jackie sighed. "Thought, we would see something like this..." Then her eyes roamed over the foyer. Clothing lay here and there shards that once were her favourite vase and dirt that reminded her of her flower bed lay on the ground... She had to check that later... She grunted. "If that is what you two understand as 'tidying up', then I don't want to see your apartment..." Jackie huffed at them. "Please... tell me at least that you are pregnant..."

Rose stared at her mother with bulging eyes. "How do you know that we are trying?" She looked around, like searching for secret cameras and bugs.

Jackie shook her head in disbelief. "Everyone knows that the two of you are insatiable... It's bound to happen some time... but good that you are trying now." She turned to her flustered husband. "Call Maria to get the stuff here. There seems to be a lot of cleaning to do... Oh, and tell Tony, he can get out of the car." Jackie turned back to the couple. "Still here? Hurry up and get dressed! Don't have to scar my little boy for life..."

She closed the door behind her and the Doctor and Rose ran up the stairs to get their clothes and take care of some of the... mess... they made, not believing how lightly they got off...

That was until they heard Jackie scream, "My babies!" and both of them flinched. Turned out that she wasn't as happy with their work on the flower bed as they were.

Ironically, it was a garden hoe, the Doctor was chased with this time...

* * *

A few hours later, still in the Tyler mansion...

"Jacks... do you know where my handcuffs are?"

* * *

STOP! And review please ;)


	13. Working

Hey there!

Since mysterypoet66 pointed out that I have some trouble with tenses: My first language isn't English so it happens from time to time that I mess things up. Please tell me, when you notice anything like that, since otherwise I don't realise it and make the same mistakes all over again. I'm always happy about constructive critic so please don't be afraid to tell me :)

So thanks to mysterypoet66 for pointing it out!

Now, on with Number 5...

* * *

"Doctor Smith! Doctor Smith!" Rose's personal assistant said, while rushing into his office. The poor woman looked like she ran a marathon. "Miss Tyler sent me! She said it is an emergency and you have to go to her office right now!"

He beamed at her, grabbed something out of his desk, ran out of his office and down the long corridor. The assistant dropped into a chair and received thankfully a glass of water from Dr Smith's secretary.

"Those two are really meant for each other... Can't say I know anyone else who is that happy about trouble."

* * *

The Doctor came to a screeching halt in front of Rose's office, took off his tie and mussed up his hair just the way she liked it. Then he casually opened the door and entered.

Rose sat on her desk, his sonic screwdriver in her hand and tongue between her teeth. "Hurry up! Close the door and get naked!"

She didn't have to tell him twice. He closed the door and got hurriedly out of his clothes, nearly falling down in the process. They were trying for weeks now to get pregnant and Rose received his screwdriver to check her body. Whenever the time was right, they slept with each other but until now... it was all in vain. Well, if you can call a pretty healthy and extensive sex life that.

The Doctor beamed at her when she spread her legs and confirmed his suspicion: no panties!

"You ready then?" he asked, grinning widely.

"Oh, yes!"

And they practised...

* * *

Owen Harper sighed while he listened to the grunts, groans and moans out of Rose Tyler's office. That 'Doctor' had to be the luckiest person on Earth... He had a beautiful fiancée, was being paid for playing around with alien artefacts (at least he, the Doctor, claimed it was playing for him... for Owen it looked like a mixture of the most complicated maths, engineering and all sorts of sciences, he didn't even know half the names of...), was to marry in one of the wealthiest families on Earth, _and_ could shag the boss' daughter as often as he liked since they were trying for a baby.

Owen was of course the only one at work who knew about that... he had the task to make sure that Miss Tyler got pregnant in the next three months (and not the way he would usually prefer to get a woman pregnant... that was obviously the Doctor's job) or else... well, Pete Tyler wasn't very specific about that, but he said Owen would meet his greatest nightmare... Normally, he would think about things like getting fired, degraded or even retconned, but since Mr Tyler eyed his wife's picture, while he talked, Owen suspected something else.

"_Oh, Doctor!_" Yup, couldn't be long now...

_5_

_4_

_3_

_2_

_1_

"_Rose!_"

Owen wondered briefly if it was unhealthy to know that much about a couple's sex life without being sexually involved, but dismissed the thought when he heard the rustling of clothes. Job was job after all.

He straightened his clothes and tried to look like the professional Doctor, he was supposed to be, but his smug grin made his attempts more than vain.

Rose Tyler opened the door and shrieked when she nearly ran into him. "For God's sake, Owen! Are you spying on us?"

"Only doing my job ma'am," he answered and winked at the Doctor, who tried to get his hair in order again and grinned in return.

Rose thought, this had to be one of those wordless man-conversations, her mother told her about.

"May I ask you to go with me to the laboratory, Miss Tyler? Mr Tyler ordered a few tests..."

She groaned. "Again? I thought everything was alright? You said his body is 100 percent human and we are both healthy..."

"Yeah, but I found a slight hormonal difference. We just want to assure that-"

"-you or my dad don't get their asses kicked by my mother... yeah, I know." Rose turned to the Doctor. "Can you do me a favour and call Jake? He said something about an alien sighting... maybe you can help? This might take a while..."

"'Course I can, honey." He furrowed his brow for a second. "Honey? That's an endearment, right? Very human..." The Doctor beamed at her. "I'm settling in! Isn't that brill-"

He was cut off by her lips on his.

"What was that for?" he asked grinning and a little dazed.

"For being you..." she answered, kissed his nose and went with Owen to the labs.

* * *

"Dr Smith! Everything alright? You look a little dishevelled, if I dare say so..." his rather noisy secretary said when he returned to his office.

"Yeah, we just had a 3425 S-16. Nothing serious."

"Oh, yes! Of course... 34-something, I know," she said in a serious voice.

The Doctor grinned inwardly. Everyone in Torchwood was supposed to know the security codes, even the secretaries, but he knew that Cindy never did her homework... So, she obviously had no clue that '3425 S-16' was the code for 'shagging the boss' daughter for reproduction'... who made this codes anyway?

"-and then I said 'You can't seriously go out with this dork!' and she said 'He is no dork! He is very intelle-... intellec-'"

"Intellectual," he said, while sitting down behind his desk.

"Yeah! That's it! Can you believe that she is shagging that-"

"Cindy, I'm really not interes-"

"And then I said 'Baby, with that hair colour, it's no wonder you get no other man!' and she became all bitchy like it was my fault that Jerry-"

The Doctor sighed and tuned her out. It wasn't like Cindy was dumb or anything... She just liked to gossip, had problems with big words and managed to get pink nail polish on every single one of his most important files... okay, maybe she was a little dense at times but she was pretty good with plants and always reminded her to water Chuck... Quite a plus point, that.

"Cindy, I have to call Jake. Could you get these files to Mr Tyler?" He gave her a pile of papers.

She saluted, said "Aye, aye Sir! Doctor, Sir!" and rushed out of the door, her blonde locks jiggling in the air. The Doctor's lips twitched.

Alright, she was also quite amusing sometimes.

He dialled Jake's number. "Jake Simmonds."

"Jakety Jak Jake! What's up?"

The Doctor heard him groan. "I _told_ you, not to call me that! I'm not Mickey..."

"Yeah, but the mickeyest person I know on this Earth."

"Whatever... Rose told you to call, huh? We have a code 2357 E-7 here."

The half-Time Lord squealed. "Non-hostile intelligent extraterrestrials?! But that's absolutely brilliant! Who are they? What did they say?"

"Calm down, Doctor! Our translation device isn't working on them... They are humanoids and seem to be half plants or something."

"Plants! Absolutely great! Chuck can help us with them..."

There was a long pause on Jake's side. "Doctor. Chuck is that palm tree you always carry around, right?"

"Of course he is! Why do you ask?" The Doctor's grin threatened to split his face.

"Because that's the point. He. Is. A. Palm. Tree. An absolutely normal palm tree. From Earth. No brain. No voice. No nothing. Just plant. So tell me how _exactly_, is he able to help?"

"Oi! You are being very rude and not ginger, Jake Simmonds... that is... You didn't dye your hair, did you? Because that would be highly unfair! Rose forbid me to dye my hair... so, _you_ shouldn't be able to dye them either!" He grimaced. "_Please_, tell me you aren't ginger!"

Jake sighed. "No, for the umpteenth time: I'm not ginger and won't ever be! Although... why shouldn't I be allowed to dye my hair? I'm not the one who is whipped by Rose..."

"I'm not whipped!"

"..."

"Okay, maybe a little," the Doctor admitted crestfallen. "Anyway, anything else about the aliens? Where are they right now?"

"Greenhouse. The weather here doesn't seem to be optimal for them. You coming, then?"

"'Course we are! Half-plants are always fun to be with, right Chuck?"

The palm tree's silence said more than thousand words.

Jake groaned. "Alright. See ya!"

* * *

Rose felt somewhat numb when she returned to her office. She sat down on her big executive chair and put her hand under her chin, completely lost in her thoughts.

A few minutes later, the phone suddenly rang.

"Rose Tyler."

"Hey, Rose, here is the Doctor. Ehm... I don't know how to break it to you, but... Alright, I have good and bad news. Which do you want to hear first?"

Rose sighed. "Bad."

"Okay... ehm... well, the aliens are kind of a little... ehm... upset, and-"

"-UPSET? They fucking tried to kill us with their claws! Be glad, they only got our clothes..." Jake's voice sounded through the phone.

The Doctor cleared his voice. "And that gets me to the good news. You can strike 'working' from the list... we are kind of doing it naked right now."

Rose's lips twitched. "You have no idea how I would love to see that... How did you 'upset' them?"

"Naughty girl... Stop grinning, Jake," she heard him say to their friend. "Well, generally speaking, it wasn't _us_ who did it..."

"Who was it then? Got someone else from Torchwood there?" she asked, frowning.

"I might have brought Chuck with me here and he kind of... well, maybe he was a little... okay, okay, he was very rude to the aliens' princess."

Rose blinked a few times and then burst out laughing. "He was rude? That is sooo typical! Thousands, _millions _of palm trees on this Earth and you get one who is rude and _not _ginger!" She laughed so hard that tears began to build in her eyes.

"Oi, I will inform you that Chuck is still very young and... well, he is kind of in puberty and thought the princess was very attractive. How could he have known that shaking his leaves like that was insulting for them? He didn't know of female plants before, anyway... and really! You women always give us men ambiguous signs!"

"Doctor, for the last time: He. Is. A. Palm. Tree. He didn't shake his leaves, that was the wind! Rose, could you talk reason into him, please? He is driving me mad with this shit," Jake said desperately. Seemed like the Doctor really was acting like... well... himself in the last few hours.

"Believe me, _that_ is absolutely impossible... As impossible as him never eating bananas and jelly babies again."

Rose heard Jake whistle in astonishment.

"Anyway, where are you two right now?"

"Still in the greenhouse. Those aliens are searching for us... at least they don't have noses. Hmm... maybe they are from Barcelona!" the Doctor said excitedly.

She could literally hear Jake frowning. "Barcelona? Come on, Doctor! There are no humanoid plants in Spain as far as I know..."

"Nah, not the city, the planet! Rose and I have been there after my regeneration. Lovely vacation spot!"

"Could you at least try to stay focused for once, _Theta?_" Rose asked impatiently, with a little growl in her voice.

The Doctor gulped. "Of course, Rosie."

"_What?_"

"Rose! Never would call you Rosie, really... Rather silly, that. Not a nice endearment at all... I would not even call a _dog_ Rosie."

Now Rose really growled and the Doctor squeaked a little when he realised his mistake. "No! No, no, no, no, no, no! I didn't mean it like that I-" He sighed and talked to Jake. "Can't talk me out of this one, can I?"

"Nope."

"You can be glad that we are trying for a baby... otherwise, you could sooo train your right hand for the next week."

He swallowed again. "Yes, ma'am."

"Anyway, did you ask for backup?"

"Yep," the Doctor said, popping the 'p'. "They should be here any minute... We just wanted to fill you in. What did Owen say? Everything alright?"

"Yeah, he just mixed another 'cocktail'. Said it could help us with the hormonal differences... although he isn't sure, if that's the reason for me not getting pregnant... It's all a little complicated, since there is no one else like you."

"Well, always knew I was special."

"Oh, shut it! Anyway, he gave me a sample so you should probably get a look at it when you are back."

"Alrighty, see you later sweetheart!" He paused. "Sweetheart! Another endearment, lovely!"

Rose laughed. "Bye, Bambi!" She hang up before he could say another word.

* * *

In the greenhouse...

"Bambi?" Jake asked while grinning widely.

The Doctor sighed. "Don't ask."

* * *

The review button seeks attention ;)


	14. Playing Games

On with Number 24... :)

* * *

The Doctor and Jake still sat in their hiding place (some rather uncomfortable bushes that were _not_ pleasant on naked skin...) and waited for their friends who seemed to take their time.

"If Joey went to the chip shop _again_, I'm going to kill him..." Jake said furiously. "Seriously, how can he keep his figure? He even eats more than _you_!" He stared at the Doctor's skinny form and groaned. "That's _sooo_ unfair!"

"Shut up, you nearly sound like Jackie..." Both men shuddered at the thought. "Try to reach them again. I think the humanoid plant... things... are coming closer."

Jake sighed and activated his headset again. "Where the hell are you, you idiots?! We have a Code Red here! Code Re-" He caught the Doctor's look and groaned. "Alright, alright! Code Mauve... We have a Code Mauve here!"

He listened his friend's answer and gritted his teeth. "No need to lie, Joey... I can hear you chewing. Now move your ass here! And where is Tanya, anyway? I can't reach her." The Doctor thought it was amazing how many different expressions Jake was able to make in a matter of mere seconds. He even beat Rose to it and _that_ meant something. "Conference? Now?! What the hell is she thinking? She was supposed to be on standby." Now a look of disgust appeared on his face. "You gotta be kidding me... Mr Tyler assigned _her_?!"

The Doctor swallowed. There was only one woman, Jake spoke like that about:

Patience stick-in-her-ass Redford... the most feared woman in all of Torchwood (save for Jackie Tyler, of course). She did every little thing strictly according to protocol... and that was _not_ a good thing when you were working with unknown aliens. Some unexpected behaviour and she was as helpless as a fish on land. That's why she did paper work most of the time... can't really fire her for accuracy, after all... But why did Pete send her here?

It suddenly dawned the Doctor. "The car..." he groaned and Jake shot him a questioning look. "I scratched his Lamborghini when Rose and I lived in the mansion for a few days. He told me afterwards, he would punish me for it when I least expected him to... Suppose, this is it."

"But... what did _I_ ever do to him?!" Jake whined.

"No matter... we have to stick together now!" The Doctor grinned at him and his friend glared back.

The human Time Lord sighed and looked down at Chuck, who he hold tightly to his chest. "At least you are still with me, right Chucky?"

'Chucky' never wished more than before, he had a mouth to speak. That bipedal skinny pink thing was starting to get on his nerves... Did he never shut up?

"Well, as long as we have time, I might as well tell you how I have been into a similar situation... Though, the bush I sat in then made me itch for _days... _Especially on the-"

The palm tree screamed inwardly.

* * *

Two hours later, they finally solved the 'misunderstanding'... though only after the aliens nearly declared war upon them because Patience told them to line up, which only happened on their planet just before an execution.

The Doctor saved her from getting her head cut off, much to Jake's dismay ("You could have _at least_, let them cut that ugly bun off her head...") and Rose calmed the angry aliens down. She came to the greenhouse, since she thought it would be nice to save her stupid fiancé's sexy bum ("I'm not stupid, Rose! But... I sure have a nice ass!" His grin vanished, when Jake slapped his behind. "Jake!").

Jake drew the blanket closer around his body and looked appreciatively at Rose. "You sure have a way with aliens..."

"I had a lot of practise and they are nothing against him..." she said, pointing at the Doctor.

"Oi, I'm not _that_ bad! Chuck, tell them!" He hold the plant into Rose's face and she rolled her eyes.

Jake laughed. "You sure that nothing went wrong with his head after this biological metathingy?"

Rose opened her mouth, surely to say something rather unflattering, but the Doctor interrupted her. "Biological Meta-Crisis. And no, everything went well, thank you very much!" He stalked off, Chuck tucked under his arm and nose high in the air.

Rose blinked and looked at Jake. "He is right... the Doctor has always been completely mad."

She grinned when she heard a "I heard that!" in the distance.

_Yep, no change there..._

* * *

What changed, were the little recurring rituals they developed in their 'new' little world. There had been no daily routine on the TARDIS, since they spent more nights in prison cells, hotel rooms and other 'roosts' (that cave in the Stone Age, the most uncomfortable of them all) than in their own respective bedrooms.

Thinking back to these times now, the Doctor wondered how they were able to repress their feelings for such a long time. He knew, he didn't make it easy for Rose since he always reminded her of her mortality and additionally had been a much bigger flirt in his tenth regeneration than ever before... But he still had to compliment his Time Lord-self... he had to have an amazing amount of self control...

Of course, now the couple worked for Torchwood, which made a normal life with a usual daily routine impossible but they still managed to eat every evening together (be it at home, work or in a dark tunnel, where they hid from some hostile aliens) and once a week they did one of the most domestic things in existence: they played board games.

The Doctor fell in love with classic games like Monopoly, ludo, Risk or Trivial Pursuit (they were both terrible at this, since much more things were different in this universe than they thought).

Today, they decided to play because although they made fun of Jake's and the Doctor's mission, it had been a close call again.

So, instead of post-danger sex, it was supposed to be post-danger playing today.

When the Doctor came into the living room, he suddenly wasn't that sure about this any more...

"Wh-Where are your clothes? I thought, we wanted to play?"

That little pink tongue poked out through Rose's teeth. "Oh, we will... but Number 24 says naked 'playing'. Not _what _playing, but I think board games count. And who knows... we could _play_ something else, later on..."

For the second time that day, the Doctor got his clothes ripped off his body, though this time by his overly enthusiastic fiancée and not angry aliens who wanted his head.

_Amazing improvement, that... _the Doctor thought when he got the best board game for foreplay: Scrabble.

Sounded harmless, but when a madly in love couple like them played it, naked and with the prospect of hot, wild animal sex afterwards... then you can expect the words, they chose, to be anything else than prudish.

Soon, the board was covered with words like 'handcuffs', 'screwing', 'bristols' and 'Timelordshaft'.

"Oi, that's cheating! And... I never saw your Time Lord body naked, anyway. How should I know that Time Lords even _have_ one of those..."

"Rose... I wasn't unconscious for the whole time after my regeneration. I still recall a light breeze on the lower part of my body and an appreciative squeal... And someone did get me in that pyjama..."

Rose blushed furiously and lay 'rosepetals' on the board, making him grin. Rules were unimportant at this time of the game, especially when she used a word that brought such nice memories up again...

On their very first night in their apartment, the Doctor surprised Rose with a bed full of rose petals. At first, she laughed at him since he obviously copied a scene of the film they watched two days ago, and he wasn't anything like the charming lead actor, he posed as. The Doctor even had a rose in his mouth and lay half naked on their bed... And _that_ was what really cracked her up.

But her laughter soon stopped when he began to use the petals to stimulate her body... neither of them would ever forget that night.

Rose grinned at him. "Thinking the game is exciting, huh?"

"Every second with you is exciting, Rose," he answered, wiggling his eyebrows and laying the word 'bedroom' on the board.

Rose grinned, nodded and stood up to go to their room, swaying her hips with every step.

The Doctor grinned, waved to the with binoculars armed Mrs Thunderstone and went to follow Rose... but not without grabbing a few yellow roses from the kitchen table...

* * *

Later, they lay exhausted on their bed, surrounded by petals, and enjoyed the afterglow. The pleasant silence was suddenly interrupted by the ringing of Rose's cell phone.

"Jake?... Are you drunk?" Rose looked at the Doctor and grinned. "Why I called the Doctor 'Bambi'? Ah, you made a bet with our co-workers? Well..." She suddenly got that devilish glint in her eyes and the Doctor swallowed. He shot her a pleading look, which only widened her grin. "Isn't it obvious? He has the most adoring deer eyes! Too cute!" Rose even squealed like a little girl and the human Time Lord already feared the next day...

And really... the Oncoming Storm, Bringer of Darkness and Destroyer of Worlds was henceforth known as: deer-eyed Bambi.

What a degradation...

* * *

Make a palm tree happy and show Chuck your love through reviewing ;)


	15. Experimenting

"The Doctor looks into his opponent's face. Determination radiates off of them. There is more at stake than meets the eye. The whole world could be in danger if he lets his enemy win. And there it goes! The Doctor grabs his weapon and dives in. Will he be able to beat his, until now, greatest enemy? Will he make the impossible possible and beat his opponent in his own-"

"For God's sake, Jake! It's an eating contest, not a mission!"

"Rose... you are no fun!"

The Torchwood team currently sat in a restaurant, celebrating their newest victory (some perverted aliens broke into every lingerie store, they came across) and like always, the Doctor had to compete with Joey. For people who didn't see the incredible every day, it had to be an absurd sight: two tall and extremely skinny men stuffed more food into themselves that, and you couldn't help but wonder, couldn't possible fit into them.

Even Rose asked Owen three times, if he really didn't miss a second or third stomach in the Doctor's body.

"Wou are wowing down!" the Doctor said, with his mouth full of food.

Joey's eyes twinkled while he stuffed another load of food into his mouth, making the Doctor gasp (and spitting bits of salad and meat all over the table).

Rose cringed. Normally, the Doctor was able to make every little movement look sexy (in her opinion, anyway) but now... well, there was definitely someone not going to get some tonight, not that the Doctor was going to be able to move after this, anyway.

Trying to outmatch Joey, the Doctor grabbed the rest of the food and stuffed it all at once into his mouth. He swallowed a few times and looked startled when the crowd cheered and shrieked. Joey lay on the ground, unable to move his limbs. On his plate, the Doctor noticed one last bit of meat, while his plate was empty.

He had won.

Happy about his glorious victory (and about the fact that Joey had to pay the bill), he jumped into the air before doing his victory dance.

Then suddenly, he gulped, put his hand on his mouth and ran into direction of the bathroom.

Rose shook her head in disbelief. "That had been his eighth eating contest and he _still_ didn't learn..." She looked down at Chuck who 'sat' next to her. "What are we going to do with him?" she asked while petting his leaves. Realizing what she was doing, she stopped herself and looked with wide eyes at her hand. "What the-... I'm becoming like... like _him_!" Then she looked at Chuck again. "I'm talking to you! I'm going totally nuts, aren't I-... Oh my God, I'm doing it again."

Rose suddenly stood up and ran screaming to the bathroom.

Jake looked after her. "Did she just really...Eh, never mind," he said, while shaking his head and went back to his task: reviving Joey with his old socks.

"AAAAAH!!"

* * *

"I can't believe, we missed Joey's revival... Anna said, he chased Jake through the whole restaurant!" Rose said disappointed, while the Doctor, she and their faithful palm tree were walking home (well, Chuck was carried of course...).

"Yeah, but there is always next time. I don't know anyone who loses consciousness as much as Joey... and Jake's socks could wake the dead."

Rose took his hand and played with his fingers. "Wake the dead? Why does that remind me of Cardiff?"

The Doctor grinned at the memory. "Weeeell, it is scientifically possible that Jake's socks are possessed by aliens... But I doubt, it's the Gelth."

"Oh? Why that?"

"Did you forget, they had a gaseous form? Don't think the gases in the socks would do them much good."

"I don't think they would do _anyone_ good... well, save for comatose patients, of course."

They chattered on, while walking home. Unbeknown to them, the next day would change their lives (and one of them in particular) forever.

* * *

Torchwood Tower, Laboratories, 13 o'clock, Banana Sandwich Time

The Doctor looked his calculations over again. He wanted to be absolutely sure that nothing went wrong... didn't happen every day, after all, that he got permission to experiment without any boundaries. He wanted to show every one (and especially his future father-in-law) that he was able to use the labs without any resulting explosions.

Rose still laughed at him for the very _little_ one, that occurred at Torchwood Two... the black powder hadn't been correctly labelled and really... three million of damage was no price for the sake of science, was it?

Well, Pete obviously thought otherwise and forbid him from thereon to enter the labs without supervision (didn't keep him from breaking into them with his sonic screwdriver, though).

When he finished his recalculations, the Doctor watered Chuck, who stood on a small stool next to him, and finally bit into his sandwich...he only had seconds to enjoy the sweet flavour. The door slammed open and he choke on his sandwich.

Rose stepped in, cheeks slightly pink from running. "Sex, now!"

"W- What?" the Doctor asked coughing and with tears in his eyes.

"I'm ready!" She showed him his sonic screwdriver. "So, hurry up. We don't have the whole day!"

The Doctor rolled his eyes. "You are such a romantic."

"Shut your trap and get out of your pants. I'm going to have a meeting in-" She looked at her watch. "-15 minutes."

"Rose... do you really want to receive our child like this?"

She looked at him for a while and then groaned. "No, of course not." Rose sat down next to him and lay her head in her hands. "But I'm becoming desperate... the three months are nearly over and I can't help but think, something is wrong with us. What if we will never be able to have children? We can't even find a house..."

The Doctor shot her a sad smile. "I know... and believe me I'm thinking the same, but... even if there was something wrong with us, I would do everything possible and impossible to get you pregnant. Hell, I would even build myself a space shuttle and search this whole damn universe for nano genes, if I had to!"

Rose grinned slightly at the enthusiasm in his voice. "I know... I'm just being silly."

"Rose Tyler, you are never ever silly! Couldn't even be silly if you tried! Although... weeell, there is this little virus in galaxy M42 that would make you really silly, whether you like it or not... But apart from that: Nothing silly at a-"

Rose shut him up with a kiss.

After several minutes of extensive tongue battle, the Doctor felt her hands on his fly. He broke the kiss and looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Not giving up, are you?"

"You know me, I never give up," she said grinning and opened his pants. "Seven minutes left."

The Doctor shot her an incredulous look. "You are kidding, right? I'm not a machine... and what about foreplay?"

Rose opened her blouse and he swallowed. She went to his desk, wiped the papers away and sat on it. When she opened her bra and looked innocently at him, the Doctor asked in a squeaky voice, "S-Seven minutes, y-yeah?"

"Nah, six now... You might wanna get rid of those clothes..."

Within seconds, the couple was naked and get on with it on the desk. Being completely absorbed into their activity, they didn't notice that one of the beakers with a rosy liquid stood dangerously close to the edge.

With a groan, the Doctor thrust into Rose, who encouraged him with cries of ecstasy. Upon her wish to move even harder, the Doctor's thrusts began to shake the whole table, making the beaker tumble dangerously.

On her road to completion, Rose grabbed the Doctor's hair and kissed him hard, making him stumble slightly against the desk.

That was enough for the beaker to fall over and pour the liquid right over the edge...

The Doctor and Rose were oblivious to this and came with a cry. Panting, they tried to catch their breath.

Rose dipped her head to kiss the Doctor but he moved his head and sniffed into the air. "Something wrong?" Rose asked, still breathing heavily.

"It's just... don't you smell something weird?"

"Oi, I'm not _that_ sweaty!"

The Doctor waved his hand. "Nah, not that kind of weird... it smells kind of... sweet." He sniffed again and tried to follow the scent. Then he suddenly saw the beaker. "Oh, no! Chuck!"

To Rose, nothing seemed to be wrong with the little palm tree, but the Doctor ran around as if stung by an adder. She watched his naked body grabbing things here and there and fumbling desperately with a gas burner.

Beginning to get kind of cold without her fiancé's warm embrace, she grabbed her clothes and got dressed.

"I don't know what you are on about again with that plant, but I've got a meeting in-" She looked at her watch. "Oh, thirty seconds. Gotta run, bye!" And off she was.

The Doctor didn't appear to hear her, since he desperately tried to find a remedy against the hair growing essence, he developed for Pete (he thought, he could win some brownie points for giving him back his hair...). Unfortunately, as useful it was for humans, as deadly it was for plants.

He ran around the lab, trying to find the last ingredients, mixed them together and hoped it would work.

* * *

Exhausted, Rose entered the apartment. She took off her shoes and rubbed her aching feet.

"Doctor? I'm home... the meeting took longer than expected..." She went to the living room. "Doctor?"

"Oh, hello Rose! Sorry, I was a little distracted..." He sat on the kitchen table and mentioned for her to come into the room.

"Distracted? What are you-" She stopped dead in her track when she saw the chess set on the table. Chuck was seated across from the Doctor. Rose groaned. "You are playing chess with a plant?! Okay, I think now it's really time for you to visit Dr Charlatan..."

_In my humble opinion, it's not him who needs to see a doctor..._

Rose whirled around, trying to find out where this unearthly voice came from. It kind of felt like it was in her head. But that was impossible, wasn't it?

_Nothing is impossible, Chica. Seriously, the idiot told me all about your damn lives and after all this time you still believe some things to be impossible?_

She suddenly saw the palm tree's leaves rattling... and the windows were closed.

"Ch-Chuck?"

_Got that right, babe. You should give that dork a good beating from me... he nearly killed me today!_

The Doctor beamed at her. "He spoke to you, didn't he? Isn't it great? I just wanted to find a remedy but one wrong ingredient and BAM!-" He slammed his fist against the table. "-and Chuck grew a telepathic brain between his roots. Now, he can talk to us! Brilliant, isn't it?"

_Yeah it is... though I wished the idiot would actually listen to me! No matter how many times I tell him to shut up, he goes on and on and on... like that damn Duracell Bunny! Only way to really shut him up seems to be how you did it today... great show, by the way! For a human woman you sure are one hot- _Chuck stopped himself when he saw Rose taking a lighter out of the cupboard and holding it dangerously close to his leaves.

The Doctor didn't seem to notice their little 'bantering'. "I showed him to Pete and he was delighted of my discovery! He said we should keep him with us and watch over him. Wonderful, isn't?

Rose grabbed the toaster and began chase him around the table, trying to strike him down.

Chuck chuckled with his leaves. _Twenty bucks on the chick! _

* * *

And this makes half. Make a poor me happy and review ;)

EDIT: Duracell is the bunny in Europe, Energizer in the USA. You see, I always do my homework :P


	16. Mending

Back with Number 25 :)

Enjoy!

* * *

"We have to talk."

The Doctor didn't know at first what it was in Rose's voice that rang his alarm bells and let a mauve sign with the word 'Run!' appear inside his mind. Was it the way her eyes darted to doors and windows as if she wanted to keep his escape ways in view? Maybe her anguished undertone, which gave him the impression, she was on the verge of doing something bad... very bad. The kind of 'I have to kill my fiancé and run off with the milkman'-bad. Come to think of it, the Doctor never did like Barry.

But neither did Rose, did she? Maybe she was possessed... there were a few alien species who were rather fond of milk... and Barry was ginger. Oh, _that's_ why the Doctor never liked him!

"Rose, are you possessed by-"

"_That's_ exactly what I want to talk about." She shot him a firm look and the Doctor felt a sinking sensation in his stomach when all of his suspicions seemed to confirm themselves.

He sank to his knees before her and hugged Rose's legs. "I'm sorry, I'm not ginger! Please don't kill me!"

Rose looked down at the picture of misery to her feet, feeling momentarily lost for words when additionally a squeaky voice sounded in her brain.

_I told you, he is totally off his trolley! We should do as he says, kill him I mean, and flee to another country... just the two of us, babe!_

One mental image of Rose chopping Chuck up and burning his remnants afterwards, was enough to make him shiver in fear.

_Jeez... can't you take a joke?! Really, why should I be interested in some pinkish yellow fleshy thing? You may have the name 'Rose', but really aren- _

Another mental image appeared inside his mind... this time Rose took his brain out and began to stab it with a blunt knife.

Chuck gulped but stayed silent.

"Alright, at least _someone_ shuts up!" she said when the Doctor began to whine loudly. Rose kneed down to him on the floor, put both her hands on his shoulders and began to shake him violently. "Snap out of it, Theta!"

The mentioning of his nickname seemed to do the trick. The Doctor jumped up, looked confused around and asked, "What?"

"I think you had that fantasy of me killing you and running away with the milkman again..."

"What?"

"I really think you should visit a psychiatrist..."

"Wha-"

Rose groaned. "Oh, stop it! What is it with you and saying 'what' for three times, again, again and again?"

"Oh, I got stuck on a planet once where it was forbidden to say 'what?' less than three times... kind of stuck, that."

"Riiight. That wasn't what I wanted to talk about," she said and added after seeing the look of complete terror on his face, "And it isn't the milkman either... Seriously, why do you think I would prefer Barney over you?"

Rose using the wrong name, seemed to please the Doctor immensely. "Barry. And it is just because..." He went up to her until their faces were just a few inches apart and whispered raptly, "He is ginger."

The Doctor was able to see every little step of Rose's oncoming laughing fit. Her eyes widened, the corners of her mouth began to twitch lightly, her face turned slightly pink and a few gasps of laughter broke out, until she finally broke down and laughed him right in the face.

"Ginger?!" she managed to gasp out between giggles. "I hate ginger! Why on Pete's world do you think I would prefer someone ginger?"

The Doctor wiped the wet spots on his face away (Rose had a rather wet laugh) and said, surprised "But... You were disappointed when I regenerated... and everyone likes ginger, right?"

_Nope, just you, Doc._

"Yep, just you."

He stared at them with wide eyes and said in a high voice, so unlike his own, "Alright," After clearing his throat, he continued in his own voice, "ehm... What was it you wanted to say?"

"It's about you seeing aliens everywhere. I can understand that you thought Mr Bean was one, really I do, but... those two teenagers last week." Rose shook her head.

"That was hardly my fault! They talked in a language that was just unearthly..."

"Doctor... they were Japanese. Only because the TARDIS doesn't translate for you any more..." Her voice drifted off, when she just remembered something. "Wait... how come you can still understand English?"

The Doctor shrugged. "Most of my companions were from Britain and since it is known on many different planets, I thought it would be better to know it. Less work for my old ship, you know?"

Rose gave him a piercing look. "She forced you to learn it, didn't she?"

"Turned off the translation circuit," he muttered quietly.

_HAH! Loser! _

"Shut up, Chuck!" The Doctor and Rose bellowed in unison before grinning at each other.

_Oi, that is repression! Wait, till I tell Greenpeace! _

He was ignored completely ignored by both of them and began to pout.

Rose continued. "Then there is the thing with my mother," The Doctor mumbled that he still thinks Jacky ought to be an alien. "Mr Anderson," He groaned since the memory was more than embarrassing. "and of course in more recent events," She positively glared at him now. "OUR TOASTER!"

"Oi! That thing always finishes just when I turn my back to it! And with that loud 'PANG' to boot! So you see, it is totally normal to think, some alien sits either in it or controls it from afar to give me an heart attack..."

A few minutes passed during Rose stared at him and Chuck sang 'I'm a weed plant' in their heads.

When he came to the part 'I'm a weed plant, A little, stinky, smelly, skunky bud' Rose finally snapped out of it and went to the phone.

"What are you doing?" the Doctor asked, completely surprised while humming the song together with Chuck.

"I'm calling Dr Griffith... Dad was right, you really are in need of a therapy."

_The Doctor is bonkers! The Doctor is bonkers!_

"You too, Chuck."

_Damn._

* * *

Five very tiring hours later, they came back from the 'therapy'. Rose slammed the door shut behind them and glowered at her two 'men'.

"I. Can't. Believe. You."

The Doctor and his green friend looked as innocently as a half alien and his palm tree could possible look. "What? We didn't do anything wrong... just answered the doctor's questions..."

"He drowned an amazing amount of Brandy because of your great answers! Okay, you are supposed to say the truth in a therapy but not that detailed! Chuck's strange desire to stick his roots into-"

"I don't think you have to repeat it for us... Thank you," said the Doctor, shuddering. The memory of Chuck's 'sexual' likes and dislikes still burned freshly in his mind and he doubt, he would ever be able to forget it.

_Oi, he asked what changed for me when I got my brain... What else was I supposed to say? _

"Well, you could have talked about your feelings for example. How your emotional view changed or something," Rose answered, while taking her coat off.

_Oh, I talked about my emotional view alright, babe!_

"I didn't mean THAT kind of emotion. Seriously, you are sounding like a teenage boy in puberty..."

_Maybe I am. It's not like there is someone else like me, is it?_

"But there might be in some time," the Doctor threw in. "I just have to convince Pete and find the formula again... couldn't be that-"

"And what about you, Doctor?" Rose chose to ignore his plans about making more plants like Chuck. The imagination of having two hormonal plants inside her head was disturbing to say the least. "You didn't have to tell him about the parallel worlds... He may work for Torchwood, but that information is confidential and not supposed to be known by anyone other then the Team who worked on the dimension cannon or the ones who crossed worlds!"

"I know, but I just became so emotional after talking about-" He swallowed hard. "-my trauma."

"Oh, you can't still be upset about that. You just walked in when Mum and Dad-"

"Don't!" The Doctor rushed to Rose and pressed his hand on her mouth. "Don't you dare to ever mention that again, Rose Tyler! It was just... inhuman."

Rose rolled her eyes, grabbed his wrist and pulled his hand away from her mouth. "It wasn't inhuman. They just-" She dodged his attempted attacks on her mouth again and said, "ate bananas with ketchup. What's the big deal?"

The Doctor shrieked, covered his ears with his hands and ran into their bedroom, locking the door behind him.

_Well, it's a big deal for the nutter, alright._

Rose just sighed in response, put Chuck on his favourite spot beside their gum tree (which he fancied) and sat down to watch 'WestEnders'.

"Damn, stupid parallel world..." she muttered, while trying to bear with the bad (really bad) series and Chuck's flirtations, he just _had_ to put into her mind.

She soon fell asleep and dreamed of blue boxes and over two million alien channels...

* * *

"_And now you have to fry your human until he is crispy brown. A little bit of lemon and basil are able to give your taste buds a new experience of-"_ BANG

"Don't eat me!" Rose jumped up with a start, feeling suddenly completely awake and sober. Confused, she looked around and slowly realized that she was indeed not about to get fried and eaten by Fanny Craddock. After blinking a few times, Rose began to walk around to search for the strange noise.

BANG

She jumped again and saw smoke coming out from the kitchen door. In mere seconds, she ran to the door opened it and was met by a wall of smoke that sting in her eyes.

"What the hell..."

"Rose! Oh shit!" The Doctor stood naked over their burning toaster with a fire extinguisher in his hands.

"Don't just stand there like a Roman statue! Put out the fire!"

He did as he was told and soon their kitchen table looked like a landscape of snow. The Doctor looked at Rose and opened his mouth to say something, but she interrupted him.

"You don't have to say anything..." she muttered, shaking her head. "You were either 'mending' naked because of that stupid list and burned the toaster instead or it is one of your strange fetishes like your 'Doctor/Nurse' one..."

"Hey! A fetish like that is perfectly normal for men of my age! Jake said that, too!"

"First, you are either mere months old or over nine hundred years... What's normal for _that _age, is anyone's guess. Second, you trust _Jake_ with something about _sex_?!"

The Doctor mumbled something incoherent and looked at his feet, while Rose sighed and went out of the room. A few seconds later, she came back with a bucket and mop.

"Clean up this mess," she said, giving him the cleaning utensils and added when he opened his mouth again, "And I _don't_ want to hear any complains!" With that said, she went back to watch TV again.

But the silence shouldn't last long... "You know, I didn't do much to the toaster... It shouldn't have exploded! I bet it was an assassination attempt on us! And they used the toaster again so there won't be any evidence left..."

"You are just paranoid... why should _anyone_ want to kill us like _that_?"

* * *

Two days later, they stood before the burning building that ones hosted their apartment.

"Don't. Say. Anything," Rose said through gritted teeth and the Doctor closed his mouth again, humming to himself. There would be enough time later for his 'I told you so's, after all...

* * *

I enabled anonymous reviews now. Didn't know that was possible before... Sorry :P


	17. Painting

The Doctor and Rose stood in front of their burning home, looking transfixed at the flames. They found it amazing what damage an exploding toaster and microwave could do without hurting anyone in the process. The Doctor had been checking the toaster for further alien influences when he heard a ticking noise and dived into the living room, trying to evade the full impact of the explosion. He singed his ass a little bit while he jumped but survived otherwise without injuries. After running comically around, yowling and holding his burning behind, he called the fire brigade, grabbed Chuck and Rose (literally... he threw the surprised woman over his shoulder) and dashed out of their apartment. Chuck whined all the way after his beloved gum tree but became silent when the Doctor promised to buy him two orchids instead... the little palm tree fancied beautiful flowers...

While the Doctor ran through the building, the dangling Rose was quick-thinking enough to set off the fire alarm (however she managed to do that in her position was beyond the Doctor... may have to do with her gymnastic abilities, he knew _oh_ so well!).

Now, they stood in front of the apartment building, watching the fire men work and ignoring their neighbours' enraged voices ("First they keep everyone awake with their perverted noises and then they burn down the whole house!", "Outrageous!", "We should sue them!", "No chance... that girl is a Tyler.", "Oh, right. She should watch her steps. Being in the limelight and all.", "Yeah. Pete Tyler must be so disappointed with his daughter.", "If it were mine...").

The Doctor looked sidewards at Rose, trying to catch her eye and see if she became upset because their mean words. He was rather surprised to find her beaming at the flames.

She must have sensed him looking at her, since she turned her head to him. "Brilliant, isn't it?" Rose asked him, beaming even more.

Confusion grazed the Doctor's features, when he asked, "What is? Rose... are you all right?"

"'Course I am. Doctor, think about it.... Escaping the flames, running away from certain death, saving ungrateful inhabitants... We haven't had any action for a while since Pete refuses to let us do any fieldwork." She bumped his shoulder with hers and grinned even wider. "Just like old times, isn't it?"

The Doctor grinned back but then rubbed his chin in mock thoughtfulness. "You know, I have had some action..."

"Doctor, opening the door for my mother in nothing else than a short apron _doesn't _count."

"Oi, she seriously hurt me!" he muttered with a pained look on his face.

"Oh, you big whiner! And you stop it, Chuck! They have work to do..." Rose bowed down to pick the little palm tree up who had been projecting very disturbing thoughts about him and two twin orchids into the firemen's heads. They shook their heads vigorously and tried desperately to concentrate on their work.

_Hey, how did you know? _

"You have been in my head for weeks now... believe me, I can see the signs," Rose answered dryly and gave him a little knock on the...well... crown. Then she tucked him under her arm and reached for the Doctor's hand.

He turned to her and grinned. "Run?"

"Run!"

And run they did.

~*~

Jacqueline Andrea Suzette Tyler had to endure many things in her life... one of them was her ridiculous long name. Since age five she insisted to be called 'Jackie' instead and having even a strong slap at such a young age... nobody complained.

Despite the normal troubles of bringing a daughter up on her own, every other trouble had to do with a rude alien that swept her daughter off her feet.

Slitheen, Cybermen, Daleks,... Jackie Tyler had her fill with monsters but everyone together was _nothing _against the Doctor and her daughter _being_ together. The pair wasn't just attracting trouble, they were _making_ it. That didn't make it any easier for Jackie to keep her temper at bay, though.

"You burned down the entire apartment building?!" she yelled on top of her lungs at the two slightly embarrassed looking people in front of her. Folding her arms and using her most perfected glare, Jackie felt proud to see them shrink a little in their seats.

The Doctor tugged at his ear, avoiding to look into her eyes. He feared to turn into stone if he did... "Weeell, strictly speaking, it was this tiny alien race... Nasty little things, really. They climb into electronic equipment, install one of their little bombs and BOOM, the entire house is burning. This is one of them..." He took a little jam jar with tiny holes in the lid out of his pocket to show it to Jackie, only to find the glass empty and with a big hole where the bottom was supposed to be.

BOOM! The sound came out of the kitchen, accompanied by dark smoke and Pete's voice: "The cooker exploded! Don't worry, I have everything under control!" Seconds later, he ran screaming out of the kitchen, shook his burning arm and then rolled on the floor, trying to extinguish the flames.

The glare Jackie bestowed upon the Doctor beat every one ever before. He swallowed hard. "Um... ups?"

He never saw the punch coming.

~*~

The Doctor hold a pack of ice on his black eye, while Rose showed some houses to him on her laptop.

"Why am I always the one getting punched?!" he moaned between a nice little bungalow and a huge posh villa. "It's like someone who hates me, is writing my life down! A crazy little fella who sits giggling in front of his keyboard, trying to decide what he can do to make my life miserable..."

"Oh, don't be ridiculous! We are not part of a story or something... Hey, this one is nice!" Rose exclaimed excitedly when she found a nice little house with garden. "And not even that expensive... look!"

"Rose, do we have to do this now? Your mother nearly cost me a regene-... I mean, life. Your mother nearly cost me my life, Rose."

She raised her eyebrows and looked at him like he was completely mad. "Do you really want to stay here any longer than necessary?"

"...Good point," the Doctor muttered while continuing to cool his hurting eye and flinching at the thought of another few punches.

"Hey, we are lucky! They have a showing today... we can go to take a look at it."

"I don't know... isn't it a little bit too small for us?"

"It has got a whirlpool _and_ you can paint it in TARDIS blue..."

The Doctor grinned broadly. "Alons-y, Rose Tyler!"

And off they were.

~*~

The house was brilliant. Absolutely brilliant. A big living room and kitchen downstairs, three other rooms on the second floor, two bathrooms and a big manicured garden... exactly what the Doctor and Rose were looking for... among twenty other people.

It was quite discouraging that they arrived, only to find the house full of other interested parties... but they wouldn't be the Doctor and Rose, if that would stop them getting what they wanted.

"Dear, are you sure this is the house where that terrible murder happened?" the Doctor asked Rose in the near of a very interested looking pair.

"Of course I am, darling. It was all over the news... a young woman was stabbed right in this room..." Seeing that the pair looked their way, now not so happy at all, she added, "They even said that she is still here... as a ghost!"

"Lovely! Maybe we can get a picture of her!" He beamed at Rose when the pair walked out of the house like being stung by an adder. "Great! One down... now, how about that one?" He pointed to an older looking woman who inspected the fireplace in the living room. Rose gave him a thumb up and walked up to the woman.

"Hello, I'm the neighbour. You are interested in the house?" The woman nodded, looking curiously at her. "Lovely, you are just what our club needs! Now, how do you feel about leather, pleasurable pain and collars?" The woman gaped at Rose, grabbed her handbag from the mantelpiece and hurried out of the house. The Doctor high-fived Rose, lay his arm around her and led her to the next target, an older looking couple. One by one, the people ran out of the house, a few even screaming, and the estate agent looked frantically around for the source of the problem. The diabolic two made an effort not to be seen when they approached the last couple on the second floor. The pair took a look at the bedroom when the Doctor walked over to them.

"Hello, we are from the end of the street. We just wanted you to know about the... speciality... of this house." One look at the faces of these two, made it obvious for the Doctor that it won't be as easy with them as with the others. "Ehm... you know that it was build on a graveyard?"

The man grinned at his wife. "Graveyard! Did you hear that, Pearl? That sounds so mysterious! Maybe there will be even some ghosts!"

To the Doctor and Rose's amazement, the woman grinned back. "Oooh, Carla will be _so_ jealous! Her poltergeist is _nothing_ against this! We should go to the estate agent right away..."

"No! Wait!" Rose came to the Doctor's side for the rescue. "There is also the brothel across the street! You really shouldn't-"

"Brothel?" she was interrupted by the man. "Now, that's perfect! Now we know where to spent the Friday nights, right sweetheart?" He winked at his wife, who giggled in return. The Doctor and Rose gaped openly at them.

"The neighbours..." the Doctor muttered desperately. "They... They are... religious! Very religious people! Going to church every day and all..." Rose looked at him like asking if he seriously thought that would help, when a look at the couple distinguished all her doubts... They looked absolutely disgusted!

"Come on, Pearly! We don't want to live next to such... _freaks_!" The man shook the Doctor's hand and thanked him for telling them about that 'abnormality' and left hand in hand with his wife. When the Doctor and Rose were sure that the couple was gone, they hugged and cheered their victory.

The estate agent looked devastated when they came down the stairs and grabbed the Doctor's shoulders like a maniac, shaking him. "Please, take the house! _Please!_ All other interested parties are gone... My boss is going to kill me! I will give you a discount of twenty percent! TAKE IT!"

The Doctor and Rose looked at each other, grinned, turned their heads back to the agent and said simultaneously, "We will take it!"

~*~

It took them two very long days to make the deal but now they were finally standing inside of their new home, armed with paint buckets and brushes and grinning like Cheshire cats. It felt strange to have a home of their own again... to have somewhere, where no people were knocking when they became too loud or the police came to make sure that the noises their direct neighbours heard indeed wasn't Rose finally getting rid of her future husband. No, here they could be as loud as they wanted to be, without undesired company. It was a little bit like being in the TARDIS again... just the two of them and nothing could get through their doors without permission (and that _meant_ nothing... the Doctor was already working on a new protection shield).

Knowing all too well how their painting would probably end, they covered the floor with a plastic blanket. Grinning at each other, they took off their clothes to fulfil number two on the list: naked painting, dipped their brushes into the paint buckets and began to paint their bedroom in TARDIS blue.

Of course, it took them only a few minutes until painting the walls became too boring and they began to paint each other instead. Rose squealed and giggled when the Doctor ran after her, swinging the dripping brush like a weapon and laughing like a maniac. Soon, he caught up with her and draw a big blue line on her ass, making her yell in surprise. Slowly, she turned around, a dangerous glint in her eyes already present and the Doctor gulped. Rose gave a warrior scream, Leela would have been proud of, and the Doctor turned around to run for his life when he felt a cold and wet sensation on his back. Glaring over his shoulder at an innocent looking Rose, the Doctor launched to attack again and so the battle began...

Thirty minutes later, they stood side by side in all of their blue, naked glory, looking at the barely coloured walls and empty paint buckets on the floor. Their bodies were completely blue by now and Rose felt strangely reminded of their time on Platform One, where they met the Crespallions. She began to giggle hysterically at the thought and the Doctor looked at her with raised eyebrows. "Thinking that's funny, don't you? Weeeell, it's not me who has to ask Pete to import another twenty buckets of our favourite colour..."

Rose rolled her eyes but smiled. "I may have to ask but _you, _my love, are the one who has to tell my mum that we will move out of the mansion a few days later..."

Pouting like only a human Time Lord could do, he thought about Jackie's broom when yet another thought crossed his mind. "Ehm... Rose? This paint _does_ come off, doesn't it? We have work tomorrow..."

Rose's grin vanished from her face in an instant. "...oh."

"Oh? _Oh?!_ What do you mean 'oh'?"

"Well..."

~*~

Jake did a double take when he saw the couple next day at work. Their faces... no, their complete bodies as it seemed, were deep _red. _He even saw a few scratches here and there.

"Good Lord! What the hell happened to you?!"

The Doctor shot Rose a short glare, who grinned sheepishly and answered, "Played around with paint... had to scrub it off... _all_ of it."

Jake laughed heartedly. "You two are so... I can't even put it in words! I wish Mickey would be here... he would _love_ to see that! I mean, look at your faces... priceless... absolutely priceless..."

"Faces? You should see our-"

Rose put a hand on the Doctor's mouth to keep him from say another word and said, "Too much information, honey... too much information..."

Jake lay laughing on the floor.


	18. Photographing

I have got a new keyboard and it's soooo weird! XD  
Anyway, Number 6... one of my favourites. *cackles evilly*  
Enjoy!

~*~

Two weeks later, the Doctor and Rose were finally able to move into their new home. After two more 'incidences' Pete got enough and hired two men, the Doctor named fittingly 'the men in black'. They stood in black suits and sunglasses in a corner and acted like they weren't there. Whenever the Doctor and Rose were 'distracted' from their work of painting and arranging the furniture, they reminded them of their presence with a loud cough or deprecating stare (however they managed to do that through the sunglasses was beyond the Doctor).

If someone who didn't know the Doctor and Rose now stepped inside the house, it would strike them both as odd and utterly fascinating. Every room had furniture typical for a certain century. There were antique pieces as well as specially made ones, the Doctor designed after a future art style. Their bed itself had carvings from a planet in the distant future where they spent several nights on. Nothing happened then of course, but they had to share a bed due to the strange religious believes of the inhabitants (and the Doctor's big gob... he just _had_ to tell them Rose and him were married to tease her).

It was the Doctor's idea to arrange the rooms like this, but Rose had a special idea of her own. Unbeknownst to the human Time Lord, she ordered a door which looked exactly like the one from the TARDIS to use it as the front door. The Doctor's eyes sparkled with joy when he saw what she did and he gave her one of the most passionate kisses, they had ever shared.

Now, everything was finally ready and not a second too early... Jackie and the Doctor nearly tried to kill each other. ("Rose, I swear to you, she tried to mix aspirin into my food!" "Oh, don't be daft! She doesn't even know, you are allergic to it... And you are human now, anyway." "You really have no idea about your mother's dark nature...")

"This is it, Chuck: Our new home!" the Doctor said proudly when he stepped together with the little palm tree through the front door. Chuck spent the whole time, Rose and the Doctor needed to renovate the house, in Jackie's care. Much to the Doctor's annoyance, it turned out that those two got on surprisingly well... so well in fact that they began to laugh at the human Time Lord whenever he passed them in the mansion. Of course the Doctor didn't want to realise Chuck's real nature, so he insisted on Jackie having a bad influence on him. Whenever Rose tried to convince him of the contrary, he began to throw a tantrum and refused to speak to her for hours (which Rose used of course whenever one of her favourite chick flicks was on).

Being finally able to move in, the Doctor's mood increased remarkably... he even invented a little "got-rid-of-the-monster"-dance. Being reminded by Rose with a kick against his shin that said 'monster' was also her mother, he refrained from using it ever since though.

During the little tour for Chuck, Rose noticed the little palm tree was unusual quiet so she voiced her thoughts to her soon-to-be husband.

"Oh, I just gagged him psychically. He began to make fun of me by sending embarrassing images from me in strange costumes so I had to punish him a little. Think he will stop when he is long enough separated from your mother..."

"Doctor, he acted the exact same way bef-"

"And that, Chuck, is our fireplace! Brilliant, isn't it?" he cut her off before Rose was able to say anything against his beloved plant. "Ooh! I haven't told you yet about our adventure with the time windows leading to 18th century France! You see, there was this fireplace, one of the time windows, and I accidentally went through it to the 18th century. Guess who I-"

"-snogged while my companions were all alone on a deserted, but not quite, spaceship," Rose's angry voice finished the sentence for him. The Doctor gulped when he felt her not pleasantly fiery gaze upon him. He momentarily forgot Rose was in the same room and babbled on like the total idiot, he was sometimes ...

Slowly, he turned around to apologise to her before she got the idea to let him sleep on the couch for the rest of the month... but every thought of that was gone when he saw the look inside her eyes. Despite the obvious anger, there was also quite a lot of hurt and his single heart sank to his stomach at the sight. "Rose... I thought we were good. It happened before we were together and even then I only loved you. I had no feelings none so ever for Reinette."

"None, huh?" she asked, her voice slightly shaky. "Didn't look like it..."

"Okay, I liked her. Of course I did, but only as a friend."

"That was what you wanted us to be at the time..." Tears began to well up inside her eyes. "I don't think I can forgive you after all..."

The Doctor went to her and seized her by the shoulders. "Please, I do anything! I just-"

"Oh, that's great!" Rose said, her voice suddenly cheerful without a trace of sorrow. "You see, there is this report I still have to write about the Ongolokinomariak invasion... Be a nice little Time lord and do that for me, yeah? I'm off shopping with alternative Shareen." She grabbed her bag from one of the chairs in the living room and rushed out of the house with a quick 'bye' before the Doctor was able to reply anything.

"...Damn, that woman is evil!"

Hadn't Chuck been gagged, he would have snorted with laughter.

~*~

Two-hundred-thirty-one pages of damage reports later, the Doctor schemed an evil plan to get back at his beloved and cackled with evil laughter when he got the fitting idea. Oh, she would be furious... but he wouldn't be the Doctor if he backed off because of possible pain (at least not as long as Jackie Tyler wasn't involved...).

After placing the still gagged Chuck between his two favourite orchids, the Doctor began to prepare Rose's surprise...

~*~

"I'm home!" Rose shouted when she entered the house, balancing countless shopping bags in her hands. After placing the bags next to the door and taking off her jacket, she stepped into the living room and gasped at the sight. It was illuminated by countless candles and a trail of rose petals led upstairs. Following the petals, she reached the likewise illuminated bedroom and giggled when she spotted the bed full of rose petals and the Doctor dressed merely in a thin bathrobe.

Suggestively, he wiggled his eyebrows and said huskily, "I thought we should... _celebrate_... our new bedroom." He stood up and went to the table to get them both a glass of champagne.

Still giggling, Rose accepted it and drowned it in one gulp. "Soo... what do you have in mind?"

"Ooh... a night full of kinky sex and handcuffs," he returned, grinning broadly.

"Sounds good... but who is going to get shackled?"

She got her answer when he suddenly picked her up and threw her on the bed. Rose squealed when the bed bounced up and down and pouted when she felt the familiar feeling of handcuffs on her wrists.

"No fair! Why am I always the one tied up?"

"Because I love you that way," the Doctor retorted cheekily and went to the bedside table.

Rose raised her eyebrows when he took her make-up set out. "Doctor... what are you doing?"

He grinned evilly when he found his target: a lipstick in an extremely horrible shade of green.

"I didn't forget your little act from earlier, Rosie... Payback time!"

And with that, he lunged at her and began to drew on her face. Rose screamed in protest but that only seemed to cheer him on. When the Doctor finished, she looked like a green alien clown... save for the glare she gave him, of course.

Gleeful about his 'work', he pulled a digital camera out of his jacket and grinned smugly at her. "I think Jake and the others would _love_ to see you like this..."

Rose named him some names, the Doctor was sure the TARDIS would never ever have translated, when he took several pictures from different angles of her.

"Alright already! I'm sorry, okay? Just stop this crap now."

The Doctor's frowned in mock thoughtfulness. "Hmm... I don't think I can forgive you quite that easily, Rose..." Then he suddenly grinned sheepishly and tapped on his camera. "You know... if we could make some pictures for our _personal_ collection, I may be able to forget your little stunt from earlier."

That only caused Rose to intensify her glare. Due to that damn list, he already suggested a few times to make some naughty pictures but Rose always said no out of fear, someone other than them could find them. Now, it seemed she had no choice any more... "Alright, I get it. But let me clean my face first _and_ destroy those pictures, will you? Otherwise I won't do it."

The Doctor waved his index finger in front of her face. "Na, na, na! I will keep these until we finished taking the other pictures... Can't have you changing your mind, can we?"

Rose suddenly got the urge to stick that camera of his where the sun wasn't shining but put a lovely smile on her face instead. Better not to risk _anything_ in her current situation.

"Okay, just open these things, yeah?" she said sweetly, tugging at the handcuffs and looking like the personification of innocence... which she was of course _not_.

The Doctor gave her that kind of smile, that made her want to shag him senseless every time, and freed her from the fluffy cuffs. Without wasting any time, she went to the bathroom to clean her face while the Doctor took some things out of the wardrobe, he wanted her to wear. When he tried to decide between the nurse costume and a specially naughty set of underwear, he heard Rose scream and grinned to himself. She probably just saw her face.

Changing her face from annoyed to joyful just a second too late, Rose came back into the bedroom and gasped at the choice of clothes, the Doctor held up for her.

"No freaking way!"

His manic grin only widened at her protests. "Aww, but you wanted to do it... Guess, I will have to send these-" He held up the memory card. "-to Jake so he can copy the pictures and hang them up on the black board..."

Rose glared at him. "You are the evillest of evil human Time Lords in all of the universes!"

"Yep, that's me!" he replied proudly and waved the nurse costume in front of her face. "And don't forget the stockings."

~*~

One hour of several pictures from Rose in different positions and outfits later, she finally got enough. "Doctor, I'm not wearing the panda costume! There is absolutely nothing sexy about that one! The cat costume maybe... even the penguin outfit had _something_... but panda? No way!"

"Aww, but you look _sooo_ cute in it!"

"I would rather be naked, then wearing th-" She regretted the sentence before she ended it... the Doctor had _that_ kind of glint in his eyes.

"Brilliant! Wanted you to do that the whole time!" he said, beaming at her.

Rose groaned but stepped out of her clothes (maid costume this time). "I'm so gonna kill you some day..." she muttered, while he waited for her to do some sexy poses.

The Doctor swallowed hard when she began to stretch out on the bed like a cat in the sun and even began to purr loudly. "R-Rose Tyler, are you trying to seduce me?"

"What if I am? It's such a shame, I'm lying on the bed here totally _naked _while you are still so terribly clothed... Can't have that, can we?"

The Doctor swallowed again, when Rose slowly stood up and went gracefully over to him. The camera hang forgotten in his right hand as she grabbed his tie and pulled his head down to hers. Instead of kissing him like he expected her however, she moved her lips to his ear and whispered, "I think it's my turn to take some pictures..."

Before he was able to react, she grabbed the camera and pushed him onto the bed. Rose lay the camera on the bedside table and crawled over to him. Tentatively slow, she got him out of his shirt and began to work on his trousers.

"Rose, I don't think it would be good to take pictures from me, now..."

She didn't have to ask why... she was already able to see and _feel_ his hard erection through the thin layers of his trousers. "Ah, seems to me like we _will_ celebrate tonight after all... And know what, my evil little Time Lord?" Rose crawled up to straggle his lap and the Doctor gulped at the sudden contact. "I won't let you sleep tonight..."

He didn't think she would find bad boys that attractive but when he saw the lustful gaze inside her eyes, he silently thanked every entity for that fact.

Slowly, she opened his fly and said, "And now, the party is gonna start, my bad, bad Doctor..."


End file.
